Where do I start

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Emotional Booty Call!!!

I was going to blog about my thanksgiving and how much fun I had but I have decided to shelve that for a couple of days. I was speaking to a friend last night and she brought up this topic and as she was talking it hit me that this is something I should actually blog about...So JAM (I know you are reading this...GET BACK TO WORK!) thanks for the inspiration ...LOL...I just discovered that a few of my close friends have discovered my blog (JAM happens to be one of those) ...shooooooot! Oh welll enjoyyyy! Let me warn you all oooo.. I still plan to deliver gist on here and if you act silly or give me reasons to write about you, I wont hesitate to put you and your drama on full blast! So don't think because you guys have discovered my blog I wont put you on blast... You know not to dare me...hah hahahahahahahahahaha (wink! wink!! Where are my eyes..LOL)

So emotional booty call... For some time now folks have taken the use of the words booty and call in the same sentence to mean the act of calling or contacting a person for the sole purpose of sex. To a certain degree I agree but I totally feel it goes deeper than this and with the little time I have, I'll like to take a somewhat deep dive into this topic...Hopefully some people will find this helpful.

I believe there are four types of emotional booty calls... Yup four types.... These calls have a way of affecting or changing your mood...Some come on those rainy days when you are feeling lonely and vulnerable, some come on those hot days when you just feel the need to vent, some come rain or shine without care for the weather or your situation... So let us delve deeeper !!!!

Booty call type 1
This is the popular version of booty call. One party (it could be either the guy or lady) picks up the phone and calls the other party with the sole purpose of having sex. I used to think this only happened with single folks but of late I have been told your status has nothing to do with it! Let me at this point clarify my stance... I believe it is wrong to have booty calls! But if you choose to participate in this, be clear as to what the terms and conditions of the contract are... A lot of folks get into this with the sole intention of just having sex with the other party and all of a sudden one party falls in "love" and becomes demanding... In the scheme of things, you are like a Temp worker...Temporary....So making demands aren't expected and should not be tolerated... Be very clear what you want prior to getting yourself involved in this type situation not After! Let me also make mention of this in the same breath...As you are giving of yourself to this person with no commitment, have it at the back of your mind that this person could so easily be sleeping around with other people ...AIDS /STD's aren't titles but rather diseases that could ultimately have a deadly impact on you and how much you can accomplish in life.
Booty call type 2
The main difference between type 2 and type 1 is the fact that type 2 isn't physical but still has emotional consequences. The status of the parties involved are similar to type 1 it involves folks that are married, engaged, courting/dating, seeing someone or single. Most times you find that the people involved in booty call type 2 dated sometime in the past. This type of booty call involves one party calling the other to talk about situations in their relationship in the hope that they'll find or get support from the other party. What baffles me about this is the fact that if this ex of yours was so on point in the first place why did you leave him/her? Ok you could argue that they broke up with you..So why do you think the best person to seek advice or support from is the one who rejected you? At no point should a man or woman in a relationship seek counsel from their ex in regards to their current relationship...Or talk to their ex in order to relieve tension within their relationship...I don't care how close you two were... My search on the word ex on Google provides me with this as a definition of an ex -In social relationships, an ex is someone with whom a person was once associated. It's totally unfair on both parties (i.e. the person you are in a relationship with and your ex)...Grow some conscience and quit being selfish!
Booty Call type 3
In the words of my blog mate Anthony, this type of booty call could also be referred to as "otapia pia" or "chop and clean mouth". The ladies are the main culprits and the guys in most cases are the victims... This type of booty call has become common of late...A woman would call a guy she has no interest in but whom she is aware likes her (a toaster or mugu). She only calls the dude when she's in need of something (coversation, excitement, etc) or needs to go somewhere here tiny purse can't afford to take her but her long-throat yearns to enter. The toaster or mugu (whichever the case maybe), under the impression that the babe is coming around, continually falls for the same trick (hmmm could this be why ladies that fall into this category are called "tricks"?), putting his heart and wallet into a dry-well that offers no hope of returns. It's amazing how time and time again you speak to the ladies and you try to explain this to them and they come up with the lousiest defense possible "Ah you never know... I am still confused...I just want to take one more look at him" if you are still confused then I doubt that expensive restaurant or meal will clear things up...If you need another look at him, meet up with him, show your face, see his face and leave! Women talk about the "pay back for all the years" factor...Listen to yourselves...Doesn't that sound retarded? Dude A hurts you or uses and dumps you and you feel the best way to get back at him is to use dude B? a guy whom from all indications could want the best for you? what relation does dude A have to dude B other than the fact they are classified as men?...I think some ladies need to re-think or lease a brain!
Booty call type 4
This goes out to the fellows... Guys, women have argued that the reason why booty call type 3 exists is because of you (booty call type 4 personalities). It's high time you allow your brain do the thinking for you and not your one-eye monster or one-eye pet. I think it's time as guys we become more sincere in terms of our intentions towards women. If the only reason you are interested in a lady is to bench-press her or satisfy your urge, kindly let the lady know...For all you know she might be in the same boat, which would clearly remove the both of you from whatever booty call type you presently occupy to type 1. I realize that some guys might argue that they got into the relationship with sincere and noble intentions and that has gone awry; there's still the need to remain true to your first goal... If you notice that after trying a few times to make things work, nothing seems to be changing, probably it's time to cut your losses... There's no point calling her up just to keep up appearances and satisfy the urgings of the kid in your boxers. How would you like it if a guy was using your sister as booty call? Realize that you will reap what you sow...Even if it doesn't come to you directly, the bible has shown that it could hit someone else in your family or a loved one. I truly think it's time we as men regain control of our one-eyed monster by bringing it under subjection. A man has no authority if he is unable to put in check his senses!
I realize how tough it is being single at the ripe age for marriage. I realize how depressing it can be attending all those weddings, being the bridesmaid but never the bride or being the grooms man but never the groom but I truly feel we accomplish a lot more when we are in the state of "singledom" and as such it's imperative we appreciate this stage in our lives and use it wisely. Regardless of what your beliefs are, you will never get back a day in your past and if for some crazy reason you are able to, it will never be the same ... So experience today for today, focus on those things that will help in making you a better person (physically, spiritually, career-wise & emotionally). Yes no doubt the luxury of a booty call brings about some level of satisfaction but if you think about it, that level of satisfaction is only temporal and though it might give you a high for a few days, the impact it could have on your life in the long term beats comparison... Everyday I meet great people in my case, I meet beautiful, intelligent women but somehow and somewhere along the line, you realize they all have a story just like I have a story...A story of hurt that has led to a lack of trust, story of desires that have led to insecurities, a story of passion that has led to a life without care. The master stroke from an artists brush once tampered with can never be restored to its original state; a few changes can be made and voila! it could still be a masterpiece though not the masterpiece it was originally intended to be but a masterpiece either way.
Note: I am not trying to lay blame on one sex over the other... I just feel there's a healthy medium we all could come to...I welcome your criticism, comments and observations.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

The games women play

Hello Blogville..Sorry its taken me longer than promised to post this blog but Atlanta was busier than I thought it would be and since my return I have spent most of my time trying to re-adjust to my environment. Hope y'all had a great thanksgiving cause I did...I'll blog about that in a few days.

So the "games women play" in coming up with this title, let me say it had nothing to do with the now famous naija movie (by the way have y'all seen the games men play?...You should see it...Really nice...Feel free to patronize a friend who has started a Nigerian video store using the Blockbuster layout ...www.calabashmovies.com). The title is befitting based on what I have experienced, stories I have heard from men and women who have confessed to playing some of these games. This write-up isn't intended to judge anyone but rather shed light on some interesting observations.

As I write this, I am up on the top most floor of a building, close to two exits and two elevators. The reason I state this is due to the threats (lol) I have received from some women but as I promised my guys on here and in the words of Fela, all na shakara but I'll still keep my door slightly open just in case..lol

For years, guys have played women like strings on the violin. For years, women have "acted" gullible and subdued their frustrations and desire to get back at men. Alas, women have decided to take matters into their hands, sometimes making it painfully obvious they are playing you. So what are these games that women play and how can you tell your woman is running a game on you...What's my take on a woman playing games and is there any point trying to rectify or confront the lady with her games.

Previously, I supported the notion that if you treat your woman well, she'll be true to you and faithful to you but of late (in the past two years), I have had reasons to throw out this notion. Women have become like men...Selfish! So let's take a look at the various categories women place men they meet.

Toaster : There are two types of toasters and the way women treat them is based upon where they are classified. The games differ, so clearly most times the results are different.
Toaster type 1: Oh this is the guy that the babe is feeling but rather than give in early decides to take some time out ...They call it "playing hard to get". Most women argue that the reason this period exists isn't because they are playing hard but rather because they truly don't know if this is the type of guy they'd want to date. Let me say this - about 85% of the time a woman meets a toaster, the woman knows clearly if anything is going to transpire between them...From that point until her thoughts are manifested, she follows a well thought out game plan that most times includes opinions of her friends. There is also the thought or idea that if the man pursues hard, it clearly shows he is truly interested...Ha ha ha ...A toaster could chase you for the fun of conquering and after he conquers, there's a great possibility he'll vanish...Its called "hit and run"...Anyway we aren't talking about men here but rather ladies so I'll try sticking to the topic.
Toaster type 2 : Argggggg... man I have found myself in this situation on a couple of occasions... You meet that babe that you think you are crazy about, you spend all your time and resources chasing after her but all you get is NO...You move left, road block... You move right road is under construction. Meanwhile rather than cut you off completely, she pretends to or enjoys your conversation and so decides to keep you around...Its funny cause as a guy you think she's keeping you probably with the hope things will change but trust me the reaon she's keeping you isn't beneficial to you but to her...Cause remember I said in most cases women know how far things will go with a toaster... Most guys that are placed in this group, take a lot of abuse... I mean when you get her on the phone, she'll want to control the conversation, without concern for your feelings tell you what she thinks, she actually uses your call to justify why she has voicemail. If you try to counter her she'll easily say " you know you don' t have to call" ...The best line I have heard is a guy places a phone call and the babe clearly knows its the guy calling but rather than go hey Mr. Y, the convo goes something like this
Mr. Y: Hey B
B: Who is this?
Mr. Y: Are u busy? (surprised she doesn't recognize his voice despite the fact dude has called ten consecutive days)
B: Well, it depends on who is calling.

Fry pan : You could classify this guy under toaster type 2 but reason why I hesitate to, is because there's a twist in the case of fry pan. Fry pan is probably a good guy, doing well career wise and financially stable. The problem with Fry pan is the fact that the woman isn't physically attracted to him but rather than letting him go, she gives him the impression that there's hope...
Fry pan for the most part is normally a fun loving guy...Exposed to various cultures and probably knows the right spots to hang and the right spots to be seen. Its amazing that this guy never notices the game the woman is playing until someone practically slaps him back to his senses. I mean dude would ask the babe out and the babe will show up with four friends and they'll all go on the guys tab... It's funny but guys walk away from this thinking its just a coincidence but I dare say its planned... The babe has informed her friends of her new MUGU. The only way the guy gets to spend anytime with the babe, will involve taking her out or doing something that will be of great interest to her... You take her clubbing but rather than dance with you, she'll be in the midst of friends of feign tiredness. Isn't it funny how you get to the club with her alone but "bump" into her friends? Common dude! Don't tell me that didn't hit you.

Oven : Ahhhhhh.....I call those classified here the "other man". There's the latest craze going on... Women single or in relationships have and keep options. That guy that she feels satisfies a need that probably her man isn't satisfying...If Oven hardly goes out, she'll find a "friend" that does. A nympho or a lady who needs proper pounding but isn't getting that from her man would have a dude or dudes depending on the season, who deliver the pounding on the regular and in the right way. The reason why women keep the Oven is because he is stable...The proper guy, friends will admire and desire... The guy that parents would love their daughters to bring home and the guy that they can count on to come through every time they are in a situation. He is the typical good guy.
Grill: Guys that fall under this category are sometimes called "safe bet". The woman knows the guy will go no where and so she'll keep her eyes out on the streets to see if she can find anything better...She's that babe that still has a profile on Hi-5 that she regularly visits but doesn't feel the need to change her status from single to committed. She entertains "hook-ups" and seems to have new "friends" calling. All of a sudden she seems to have cousins or uncles you've never heard of...She seems to be closer to her family than she ever was..lol... The Grill sometimes has an idea that the woman is up to no good but remains true to the way he feels...He is unshaken unless something really dramatic happens like catching the babe in bed with her supposed "cousin".
Burner: There is no hope for this dude. He is generally considered the bad boy babes like...He's a thug at the right times (in bed etc)...More times than none, dude is headed no where, in terms of career or plans for the future (typically called NFA) but the woman is doing well and clearly has a sense of where she's headed. Most times the woman keep these guys because of how "handy" they are but at the same time their eyes are shining outside... Reminds me of a babe that was dating this dude...They had been dating for about four years... Dude was certain this was the babe he was going to marry and as such made it clear to all who cared to listen... One summer the babe told the dude she had to visit her parents in Nigeria and she'll be gone for a couple of weeks...Come week 4 the babe had not returned...Only to find out that the babe got engaged in Nigeria. We could argue about various aspects of this whether its fair or not but I truly believe if you don't see yourself marrying this dude why go into a relationship with him...You knew he was a bum prior to dating him so forget that excuse you are about to utter.

So here are some tell signs that a woman is playing games...Its by no means exhaustive but I trust it covers a lot of bases and can be altered to cover most if not all.
Tell signs :
1.She has her phone off or on vibrate when she's with you or in your place but regularly leaves her phone on.
2.She becomes selective in terms of calls she picks and the conversation she holds on those she picks are irrelevant
3. She desires to spend more time with her friends than she spends with you
4. She's always having a story of how some odd guy (toaster) gets her number...But its weird how comfortable she is entertaining the calls
5. She's simply unpredictable...Never where she claims she'll be...Always somewhere new..She no longer has a routine
6. She isn't as open to meeting your family as she once was...Always trying to escape or avoid such meetings.
7. She becomes extremely conscious of how she looks...Reminds you of how she was when you two first met or during your toasting period.
8. Her voice is clearly different depending on who she's talking to... Her tone becomes softer when she's talking to this "friend"
9. She becomes rude and talks to you in ways you aren't accustomed to... Most times this happens when a woman has started talking to another guy she finds interesting and believes could replace you...
10. You notice that she doesn't talk to you about things bothering her anymore..Be it work, school or just daily situations.
11. Most of her friends haven't heard about you and you've been dating for three months.
12. Her holiday plans don't include you nor your contribution...She's off to naija to rock!
13. She finds it hard to answer the simplest questions you ask... Always feels the need to repeat your questions to you (while searching for an appropriate lie). All of a sudden she becomes defensive over questions she used to answer with little or no hassle previously.
14. She can't define "busy" but seems to use that word consistently.
15. You are no longer interesting
16. They still feel the need to keep in touch with the "loser" ex they despised when you first met.
17. Claims to cook but actually buys food from the local restaurant (have you noticed she never cooks while you are around?)

The fact that she displays one or more of these signs doesn't mean she's immediately proof she's cheating on you (though I dare say to a great extent it does) but use this as an opportunity to figure out if your relationship has run its course, there's something you've stopped doing or being or probably things that she could be going through at that point in time.

A man can act a fool doesn't mean he is a fool...If you are going to play games, be sure you can play the game and be sure you can handle the outcome of the games you play...Know that just the same way a woman catches a man cheating on her, its equally easy for a man to catch a cheating woman...The difference is the guy needs to pay greater attention, while the woman has those instincts.

3 States! 24 interviews! 2 stars!

Finally get a break! this week was extremely busy and I'll be lying if I say i am not looking forward to thanksgiving week (yup i am taking the week off!). How busy have I been? well I have been in three states, had 24 interviews bumped into two stars (Brian Mcknight and Keith Sweat) all in four days. Discovered airport restrooms to avoid (AVOID OHIO AIRPORT TOILETS!!!) hold it for however long!

As much as possible avoid older cab drivers especially if your flight is early in the morning... i mean it's either they drive as slow as heck (even after you've told them you are running late) or they release fart without warning and with windows up (I mean whats up with me and cab drivers).

My people I have become an expert in interviews. I mean try having 7 interviews back-to-back, two days in a row...comprising of technical questions and behavorial tests. In one of my interviews, I actually got to meet with a shrink! It's funny how at times we watch the Shrink/ patient scene on TV and draw the conclusion its just an act...my people its not ooooo I mean this shrink got me to talk about everything from my past to present covering work, family and friends...he even sought to find what my most evil thoughts were....na wa ooo to get a job these days is turning into something else.

This process has been humbling....I mean I walk in there with my head up and I walk out with a strange feeling that i have been torn a new one! So within a week, i have accumulated so many travel and hotel points, become an expert in interviews.

I realize I promised to post a blog that would cause the ladies to scream and the fellas to smile... I'll post it when I get to ATL. Yup I am off to ATL for the week... that town better bubble oooo or else I am going to cause a lot of drama...

Watch out for my next post "Games women play". It's bound to be eye opening, informative and disturbing.

So what do y'all have lined up for Thanksgiving?

Friday, November 10, 2006

Her Royal Highness!

Today I found myself with little or nothing to do. So I decided to spend some time stalking blogs. I must say as I read through the various blogs, I couldn't help but appreciate something I have known for a while but probably never publicly declared...Naija babes are off the hook!
So I dedicate this blog to the ladies in blogworld...your blogs are inspiring...they've increased my desire to be a better person, they've helped in bringing into focus whats important, given me a greater appreciation of how talented you are and best of all, they've given me a greater appreciation of what you stand for, why you act the way you act, think the way you think and say the things you say.

Her beauty leaves you speechless
As she swings her beautiful chocolaty brown, smooth skin,
You can’t help but turn
Turn to appreciate this work of art the creator spent enormous time crafting

Her beauty engulfs the room
For the period of her stay, it’s like we are in a room alone
Nothing else matters, nothing else exists
Her beauty is scintillating,
Her eyes say “I am all you need”
Those lovely brown eyes
Void of mascara,
Void of make-up
My naija beauty

Her beauty leaves foreigners yearning
Could turn a gay man straight
Who can blame them?
Her body is out of this world
Proportionally shaped
Clearly displaying her assets
And playing down her debts

My naija beauty isn’t just beautiful
Her ambition leaves you content
Content because you know regardless of the crowd, she holds her own
Her drive and motivation are second to none
She can talk about most things
Gossip about anything
The constant intertwining of Pidgin English, her local dialect with the queen’s English
Leaves me yearning to kiss her lips
Not out of lust but rather in remembrance of this rare ability

Her sense of dressing is impeccable
Be it in her traditional garb,
Or in her business suit
Or in those jeans that accentuate her WMD
If colors could speak they’d want to be Nigerian
Her ability to blend those colors is incomparable
Matching that strange looking bag to those pointed shoes
One would think it was custom-made for her

You always know she’s got your back
She’s your Bonnie
Your ride or die chick
She’ll always have your back at time of war
Even if most times she starts the war and the war is against you.
My naija beauty
the epitome of strength,
the definition of a woman
filled with enough passion
to give a white man rhythm.
the embodiment of culture
the gatekeeper of love.
My naija Beauty

Monday, November 06, 2006

The Blame Game!!!

I realize I am delving into a controversial area but I truly think its time someone touched on it. So as promised, this is part II of my vent session from last week.

I am really sick and tired of people constantly blaming the other party for things they've created. The other day I read about a "perfect" person who for some strange reason has the misfortune of constantly dating guys that are no good. Every single relationship this person has been involved in has always ended due to the other party either lying, cheating etc. It's become so pathetic that almost 1 out of every 3 people that have just gotten out of a relationship blames the other party but sees no fault in themselves. After thinking long and hard, I've decided to group these people.

1. The Victim

These are the classic types...You talk to them about their past relationships and you notice a trend immediately. They've dated a number of men/women but amazingly every break up has been as a result of the other party acting up or doing something wrong. They always seem to have given it their "best" whatever that means! You get the impression they could never hurt a fly and if you are gullible, you immediately feel pity for them and probably never having a chance to meet the other party, you form an opinion of them and being the idle person that you are, you help perpetuate the lies you've been told by this "victim". Funny thing is out of pity, which could probably lead to you giving this person the light of day, you end up dating this person, only to find out this person isn't as innocent as he/she claims to be...Guess what! Too late your name has gone down in the books of no-goods and the same way you took sides without carrying out thorough check to ensure the stories are valid, is the same way your name will go around... I guess this is where Karma comes in ....LOL...
Stop being a "victim" you are not fooling anyone...With time the truth will be discovered either from someone else or through direct manifestation YOU! Admit you have a problem and hopefully the person whom you are attracted to sees true value in you and offers to work with you...Now if they don't, you don't need them!

2. Forever falling
Ahhhh if only life was a romantic movie after another, folks in this group will be stars. I mean I am always amazed at how fast people fall in and out of love; fall in and out of relationships. I mean you could blink one day and find out that your friend has broken up with someone they've "loved" for years and have all of a sudden fallen in love with a new person the next day. I mean have you heard of the phrase "time to heal"? common! How do you expect to enter a new relationship improved if you've failed to take stock of lessons learnt from the past relationship? It's amazing how time and time again, these people end up in the same situation in a different relationship..Guess what...Yup, you got it....They'll blame the other party...One thing they fail to realize is the fact that garbage from your past does not build a relationship but destroys it. Take some time out and get to know yourself and relieve the hurt...Admit your fault and work on it... You have no business taking your garbage into another relationship and when things fail to work out you immediately want to point a finger,.....Hey! The other four fingers are pointing at you! Men it's not everything that is in a skirt you should chase after...Women its not everything in pants either...Have a certain standard at least!
Guard your heart...Not everyone that looks good is good to date and not everyone that causes your hormones to rise is necessarily good for you. Heal, take your time to get to know you and some tme to get to know the new person...If you fear you might lose this person, let them go cause either way if you don't make the necessary adjustments, the relationship is doomed from the start.

3. Falling for Mr./Ms. Wrong

Give me a break! There is nothing like Mr./Ms. Wrong... They might just be wrong for you ...you would have known that if you spent time getting to know the person better rather than allowing the cockroaches (butterflies) rolling in your stomach! Guard your heart. If you find that you are always dating the worse kind of people, then may be you should check yourself...Try and understand what attracts them to you or what attracts you to them. Quit yapping...If you had guarded your heart the way you should and learnt about the person more, I truly doubt you'd find yourself in the situation you seem to always find yourself. You can't go out dressed like a prostitute and expect a man to treat you like a queen... You can't go into a relationship with trust issues and expect things to be all good... Most times you get treated the way you're perceived. If you dress like a street corner, flesh showing, backside glowing lady what do you think attracted the guy to you in the first place? Let me guess...Your intellect? Ha ha ha. Men! When you see such ladies and you clearly know it's lust, as hard as it is to ignore, I beg of you ignoreee ... Before you approach her, imagine where she's been and who she's been with and remember AIDS no dey show for face...Trust me that should put you off immediately.

4. It's a small world afterall!

So things did not work out between both of you...Regardless of what happened, move on...Your destiny is not tied to the survival or dissolution of a relationship. In the words of TD Jakes, some relationships are for a reason and a season. Recognize which you've just gotten out of...Quit going around and looking for a pity party to attend cause trust me your hosts will more than likely be the same people creating future pity parties for you. Be mindful of the things you say about your ex cause trust me as damaging as you think your gossip would be, isn't it funny that they still end up dating and marrying? Save your spit and work on you. We live and we learn! The world we live in is so small ...These things have a way of getting back to the other party... You don't help yourself any if the other party decides to tarnish your name in return. Guess what! Whether true or false, you now have another hurdle to climb when you meet a new person.

5. Insecurity

Yeah ... I bet some readers are nodding their head...We all have certain insecurities...It could be physical, emotional etc. I really want to touch on the emotional part of our insecurities. I sympathize with people that have been hurt in the past relationships for no fault of theirs .. Can I get a witness!....The problem I have with these people goes back to my comment on forever falling. When you come out of a relationship that ended badly, was as a result of one party cheating, abuse (physical or emotional)etc., it makes no sense and I mean NO SENSE jumping into another relationship immediately. Yeah I know its funny how when you've just gotten out of a relationship toasters come at you from all angles...Avoid getting into a relationship by all means... Find some YOU time ...Rebuild, refocus and reassure yourself of your person. A wounded soldier on the field of battle is called a casualty...They are taken to the base in order to heal and if their injuries weren't life threatening, after they've had time to assess if this is the same line of work they want to be involved in, they go back to the battle front at this point. My point is...When hurt, take some time to heal and assess damage and have a rehab plan. The crap I hear that the best way to get over a relationship is to getting into another or get into bed with another, is total crap! You are just setting a trap for yourself! All of a sudden it starts from that one person and then becomes a norm.

By no means is this list exhaustive but I truly feel its a great place to start from. You can't forever be a victim...Choose for once not to be a victim...Your stories might be compelling but trust me if you truly take time out to search yourself and look back on that relationship, you'll notice the part you played that led to the dissolution of your relationship. Could it be when you made your choice, could it be that day you saw them necking but they told you Shaggy (it wasn't me!)... I truly believe there are signs out there...It's funny but we choose to ignore these signs and when we reap what we've sown, we are eager to blame the other party.

I realize men cheat! But women cheat too.... It reminds me of an episode. The lady found out her man was cheating on her...Rather than ending the relationship, she came up with the craziest excuse " I cheated with his best friend in order to get back at him"... Funny thing is she's still cheating with the dudes best friend till date ...Now except me I am completely off my ruckers!, if you are trying to get back at a person and since its clear you have no self pride, so you feel its best to lay on your back to get back at a person, shouldn't the ultimate aim be for the person you are cheating on to find out?

Anyway on to other gists. My weekend was cool... I didnt get to travel as planned but had a swell time in-town. I caught the movie departed...nice flick! Haven't been to the movies in yonkers so I guess any movie would have been good in my books (naaa I truly enjoyed this movie). I attended an Indian bash on Saturday...my goodness...those folks know how to throw a party...man two straight hours of just dancing to Indian beats...lets just say it was an experience!
Went out with my Pastor and a few friends on Sunday...had a great time... It's sooo much fun when you have a Pastor that youself and friends can chill with, who builds you spiritually, without the need to constantly bash you with bible passages...this Pastor is reaaaaaaaaaal! I mean we were all together for 7 hours talking and revealing things. Anyway, to sm it all up, it was a weekend to cherish.

Hope y'all had a great weekend!