The games women play

Hello Blogville..Sorry its taken me longer than promised to post this blog but Atlanta was busier than I thought it would be and since my return I have spent most of my time trying to re-adjust to my environment. Hope y'all had a great thanksgiving cause I did...I'll blog about that in a few days.

So the "games women play" in coming up with this title, let me say it had nothing to do with the now famous naija movie (by the way have y'all seen the games men play?...You should see it...Really nice...Feel free to patronize a friend who has started a Nigerian video store using the Blockbuster layout ...www.calabashmovies.com). The title is befitting based on what I have experienced, stories I have heard from men and women who have confessed to playing some of these games. This write-up isn't intended to judge anyone but rather shed light on some interesting observations.

As I write this, I am up on the top most floor of a building, close to two exits and two elevators. The reason I state this is due to the threats (lol) I have received from some women but as I promised my guys on here and in the words of Fela, all na shakara but I'll still keep my door slightly open just in case..lol

For years, guys have played women like strings on the violin. For years, women have "acted" gullible and subdued their frustrations and desire to get back at men. Alas, women have decided to take matters into their hands, sometimes making it painfully obvious they are playing you. So what are these games that women play and how can you tell your woman is running a game on you...What's my take on a woman playing games and is there any point trying to rectify or confront the lady with her games.

Previously, I supported the notion that if you treat your woman well, she'll be true to you and faithful to you but of late (in the past two years), I have had reasons to throw out this notion. Women have become like men...Selfish! So let's take a look at the various categories women place men they meet.


Toaster : There are two types of toasters and the way women treat them is based upon where they are classified. The games differ, so clearly most times the results are different.
Toaster type 1: Oh this is the guy that the babe is feeling but rather than give in early decides to take some time out ...They call it "playing hard to get". Most women argue that the reason this period exists isn't because they are playing hard but rather because they truly don't know if this is the type of guy they'd want to date. Let me say this - about 85% of the time a woman meets a toaster, the woman knows clearly if anything is going to transpire between them...From that point until her thoughts are manifested, she follows a well thought out game plan that most times includes opinions of her friends. There is also the thought or idea that if the man pursues hard, it clearly shows he is truly interested...Ha ha ha ...A toaster could chase you for the fun of conquering and after he conquers, there's a great possibility he'll vanish...Its called "hit and run"...Anyway we aren't talking about men here but rather ladies so I'll try sticking to the topic.
Toaster type 2 : Argggggg... man I have found myself in this situation on a couple of occasions... You meet that babe that you think you are crazy about, you spend all your time and resources chasing after her but all you get is NO...You move left, road block... You move right road is under construction. Meanwhile rather than cut you off completely, she pretends to or enjoys your conversation and so decides to keep you around...Its funny cause as a guy you think she's keeping you probably with the hope things will change but trust me the reaon she's keeping you isn't beneficial to you but to her...Cause remember I said in most cases women know how far things will go with a toaster... Most guys that are placed in this group, take a lot of abuse... I mean when you get her on the phone, she'll want to control the conversation, without concern for your feelings tell you what she thinks, she actually uses your call to justify why she has voicemail. If you try to counter her she'll easily say " you know you don' t have to call" ...The best line I have heard is a guy places a phone call and the babe clearly knows its the guy calling but rather than go hey Mr. Y, the convo goes something like this
Mr. Y: Hey B
B: Who is this?
Mr. Y: Are u busy? (surprised she doesn't recognize his voice despite the fact dude has called ten consecutive days)
B: Well, it depends on who is calling.

Fry pan : You could classify this guy under toaster type 2 but reason why I hesitate to, is because there's a twist in the case of fry pan. Fry pan is probably a good guy, doing well career wise and financially stable. The problem with Fry pan is the fact that the woman isn't physically attracted to him but rather than letting him go, she gives him the impression that there's hope...
Fry pan for the most part is normally a fun loving guy...Exposed to various cultures and probably knows the right spots to hang and the right spots to be seen. Its amazing that this guy never notices the game the woman is playing until someone practically slaps him back to his senses. I mean dude would ask the babe out and the babe will show up with four friends and they'll all go on the guys tab... It's funny but guys walk away from this thinking its just a coincidence but I dare say its planned... The babe has informed her friends of her new MUGU. The only way the guy gets to spend anytime with the babe, will involve taking her out or doing something that will be of great interest to her... You take her clubbing but rather than dance with you, she'll be in the midst of friends of feign tiredness. Isn't it funny how you get to the club with her alone but "bump" into her friends? Common dude! Don't tell me that didn't hit you.

Oven : Ahhhhhh.....I call those classified here the "other man". There's the latest craze going on... Women single or in relationships have and keep options. That guy that she feels satisfies a need that probably her man isn't satisfying...If Oven hardly goes out, she'll find a "friend" that does. A nympho or a lady who needs proper pounding but isn't getting that from her man would have a dude or dudes depending on the season, who deliver the pounding on the regular and in the right way. The reason why women keep the Oven is because he is stable...The proper guy, friends will admire and desire... The guy that parents would love their daughters to bring home and the guy that they can count on to come through every time they are in a situation. He is the typical good guy.
Grill: Guys that fall under this category are sometimes called "safe bet". The woman knows the guy will go no where and so she'll keep her eyes out on the streets to see if she can find anything better...She's that babe that still has a profile on Hi-5 that she regularly visits but doesn't feel the need to change her status from single to committed. She entertains "hook-ups" and seems to have new "friends" calling. All of a sudden she seems to have cousins or uncles you've never heard of...She seems to be closer to her family than she ever was..lol... The Grill sometimes has an idea that the woman is up to no good but remains true to the way he feels...He is unshaken unless something really dramatic happens like catching the babe in bed with her supposed "cousin".
Burner: There is no hope for this dude. He is generally considered the bad boy babes like...He's a thug at the right times (in bed etc)...More times than none, dude is headed no where, in terms of career or plans for the future (typically called NFA) but the woman is doing well and clearly has a sense of where she's headed. Most times the woman keep these guys because of how "handy" they are but at the same time their eyes are shining outside... Reminds me of a babe that was dating this dude...They had been dating for about four years... Dude was certain this was the babe he was going to marry and as such made it clear to all who cared to listen... One summer the babe told the dude she had to visit her parents in Nigeria and she'll be gone for a couple of weeks...Come week 4 the babe had not returned...Only to find out that the babe got engaged in Nigeria. We could argue about various aspects of this whether its fair or not but I truly believe if you don't see yourself marrying this dude why go into a relationship with him...You knew he was a bum prior to dating him so forget that excuse you are about to utter.

So here are some tell signs that a woman is playing games...Its by no means exhaustive but I trust it covers a lot of bases and can be altered to cover most if not all.
Tell signs :
1.She has her phone off or on vibrate when she's with you or in your place but regularly leaves her phone on.
2.She becomes selective in terms of calls she picks and the conversation she holds on those she picks are irrelevant
3. She desires to spend more time with her friends than she spends with you
4. She's always having a story of how some odd guy (toaster) gets her number...But its weird how comfortable she is entertaining the calls
5. She's simply unpredictable...Never where she claims she'll be...Always somewhere new..She no longer has a routine
6. She isn't as open to meeting your family as she once was...Always trying to escape or avoid such meetings.
7. She becomes extremely conscious of how she looks...Reminds you of how she was when you two first met or during your toasting period.
8. Her voice is clearly different depending on who she's talking to... Her tone becomes softer when she's talking to this "friend"
9. She becomes rude and talks to you in ways you aren't accustomed to... Most times this happens when a woman has started talking to another guy she finds interesting and believes could replace you...
10. You notice that she doesn't talk to you about things bothering her anymore..Be it work, school or just daily situations.
11. Most of her friends haven't heard about you and you've been dating for three months.
12. Her holiday plans don't include you nor your contribution...She's off to naija to rock!
13. She finds it hard to answer the simplest questions you ask... Always feels the need to repeat your questions to you (while searching for an appropriate lie). All of a sudden she becomes defensive over questions she used to answer with little or no hassle previously.
14. She can't define "busy" but seems to use that word consistently.
15. You are no longer interesting
16. They still feel the need to keep in touch with the "loser" ex they despised when you first met.
17. Claims to cook but actually buys food from the local restaurant (have you noticed she never cooks while you are around?)

The fact that she displays one or more of these signs doesn't mean she's immediately proof she's cheating on you (though I dare say to a great extent it does) but use this as an opportunity to figure out if your relationship has run its course, there's something you've stopped doing or being or probably things that she could be going through at that point in time.

A man can act a fool doesn't mean he is a fool...If you are going to play games, be sure you can play the game and be sure you can handle the outcome of the games you play...Know that just the same way a woman catches a man cheating on her, its equally easy for a man to catch a cheating woman...The difference is the guy needs to pay greater attention, while the woman has those instincts.