Where do I start

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Mugufied: what next?

Welcome to a day in the life of a mugu. When it comes to matters pertaining to relationships, the opposite sex or friends, I've been called naive and a few times innocent but for the first time last night, a friend (lets call her the Gemini mother) called me a mugu!!! Please readers help me judge if in fact I am a certified mugu or not...having asked this of you, if after reading this you feel the need to call me a name worse than "mugu", kindly remember I am the victim here (yes I am pulling out the victim card).

Here goes:

There is a certain lady I've known for the most part of my life and I'm sure I've blogged about her in the past (can't be bothered to search now) but for the purpose of this gist I'll call her 'chooka'.

I don't want to bore you with how we met, blah, blah, blah but we met about 20 years ago. We have always liked ourselves and people have constantly teased us about how good we would be together and the believe we'll end up with each other. She knows me better than any other girl...knows my strengths and weaknesses and generally how to handle me (yes! I can be a handful).
Anyway for a number of years we avoided the thought and talk of dating, until 2004. In 2004, I was in a relationship and was thinking of taking it to the next level. While trying to make a decision on whether to take it to the next level or not, I had cause to make a stop in chooka's city. I met up with chooka and decided share my intentions with her and to my surprise chooka wasn't thrilled about my plans. She felt we owed it to ourselves, since we knew each other so well, to explore a relationship. To cut the long story short, a month or two later, after a lot of reflection, I couldn't help agreeing with her. As good as my current relationship was, the lady didn't understand me quite like chooka. On my return to base, I noticed we started having a lot of arguments (when I think back now, I can't help but think I was the cause of most of the arguments)
I started dating Chooka and while we were dating, she gained admission into a school in a different country. We continued dating despite the distance and she continued sharing her words of undying love. Months into her program, I had cause to visit Atlanta for a friend's party. While at that party, I met a couple of ladies who were school mates of Chooka. As expected, I asked if they knew her and to my excitement they did. One went on to share some news that left me dazed..."Yeah I know her...Her fiance lives here in Atlanta..He actually spent a quarter with her in XXX"...Fiance? spent a quarter??? I had never been to that country before, we weren't engaged,so it clearly wasn't me. Waited for Chooka to return before bringing up the topic and she claimed her ex came to see her, to beg her to return to him but was there for just a couple of days. I refused to believe she could be lying and as such I accepted her explanation (some time later, I got confirmation that in fact he actually lived with her in school for a couple of months). A few months later I decided to break things off because I noticed certain inconsistencies but never brought up the fact I got confirmation from some one else.
So you might ask, what does this have to do with me being called a mugu..right? Well last year she made a reappearance. She claimed to still be in love with me, she claimed to have been single and was still dealing with our separation...Asked her if she was seeing anyone at the time she said no. She kept bombarding me with messages and for some reason or the other, my instincts kept telling me to avoid her...so I did. She went cold for a few months and five days ago, she appeared again. This time she called me with a local number. I was shocked she was around and couldn't understand what had brought her to town. She came over to see me...Again, she went on about how she hasn't been with anyone, how they tried hooking her up with some chap and how she wasn't feeling the chap and was avoiding the chap...how she has kept herself ...blah blah blah! While having this conversation and while she's trying to prove that I am all she wants, she claimed to have a picture of me...she took up her blackberry and started searching for the picture...as she searched, my eye caught a naked picture of her....confused, I asked why she had a naked picture of herself and she said "I enjoy taking them and just looking at myself" as she continued scrolling, I noticed a folder tagged "my baby" the folder picture was also a naked picture. Again baffled I asked to see it but she said no I couldn't. She proceeded to show me some of my pictures but refused to allow me hold the phone or scroll through myself...This I found weird. Anyway, a couple of hours later, she picked up my phone and started scrolling through and I figured this was a good time to make my move...So I picked up her phone and decided to scroll through as well....Immediately she noticed, she screamed and started chasing me about to get the phone off me...At this point I had gotten to pictures of herself naked and lo and behold pictures of a naked guy as well...recent pictures...What didn't my eyes see... I must say the shock left me speechless and all I could do was get her a ride and all I could say was "womennnnnnn!" I love you has become "good morning"....at times you say it but most times you don't mean it!

On a different tangent, I have a question and would love to hear from y'all....Do you believe a relationship can stand the test of time, if a couple desists from having sex before marriage?

Please note: if you discover typos it's because I can't be bothered to go through and make the necessary corrections...nothing against you but just that I am still weak!


  • At 1:56 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    LOL! Womennnn :p. To answer your question; Yes! I absolutely think a relationship can stand the test of time as long as both partners are willing and have agreed to abstain (and help each other abstain as well) from sex before marriage. Good to have you back Miggy!


  • At 3:50 PM , Blogger Miguel said...

    Z- Interesting! Thanks for your comment. Good to be back and good to have you as a reader.

  • At 2:33 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Not sure about that.. we were both virgins when we married, and the bedroom became a nightmare. split up now due to that and other issues... methinks it may have been easier to manage bedroom expectations if either or both of us had some experience in that dept..

  • At 6:28 AM , Blogger Miguel said...

    Anonymous I sympathize with you and I trust all will work out for your good. I do think though since both of you were relatively inexperienced, expectations would have been low... I think it is important for couples to discuss these things before they get into a marriage...No doubt it is a tough road to ride but I am certain it is possible


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