Where do I start

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Good bye Feferity!

Today you wake to joy
can't imagine how blessed you are
you are full of joy
God has granted you another day to live
A new beginning...a chance to correct yesterday's wrong
You are just happy to take that day in the hope of a next
Next day you wake and disaster strikes
Like yesterday, i remember our first meeting
After chatting with you for what seemed an eternity
I tagged you Feferity
Feferity because you knew what you wanted
A name, a game with no shame
You accomplished it all
Just yesterday you brought a pair of lovely kids into the world
today i hear you are no more...
It's been a long summer for me... losing you has just made it longer
I hear the voice on the other end of the receiver
the words are clear
she's sure
it's been confirmed
You are gone
Adieu feferity
I'll pray for the bundle of joy you've left behind
hopefully one day i'll be able to tell them about Feferity
How she knew what she wanted and went for it
Wow! girl you've left me speechless for now...
It's true what i've heard all my life... you are never too young to die.
Adieu feferity

Ladies please take your health serious...Its okay to go by faith but even the bible says Faith without works is furtile... go for constant check-up. Death is no respecter of person, status or age.

Things keep happening to me this summer... but i stand on your word Father "this time shall pass!"

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Presenting the Masterpiece....

Umofia kwenu ...iya...kwenu ...iya....kwenuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...yes I did it! The mission was successful...I threw down and I must say it was off the hook! so I decided to ignore the FDA warning and cook egusi (couldnt find ogbono)...my buddy showed up and dude was impressed! I mean what can I say ... i have finally found another hobby... so I plan on cooking something new every other week... But mannnnnnn turning pounded yam should be a form of exercise...for some strange reason, I can't seem to make pounded yam...its either it comes out with lumps or some of the yam flour still in it...oh well my buddy was around..so the pounded yam you see in the picture was made by him.

Sad you guys can't taste the soup... see as the beef is hugging the chicken, while the gizzard is serenading the stockfish..kai I see Bijou licking her finger...ahhhhhh diamond I can see your face..dazed! Naijablokeeee i represented for the guys oooo....it took me three hours but you must
agree ..i threw dowwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnn.

Before people start doubting, i took pictures of the burning surface ....

Proof 1:

Proof 2:

Proof 3:


Monday, September 18, 2006

FDA warning

In view of the FDA warning on spinach and my concern over the health of prospective tasters of my delicacy, I have painfully decided to suspend my Egusi cooking expedition. I must say this has really messed up the time-table of palatable delicacies, I had proposed to spoil my fellow bloggers with but being the benevolent blogger that I am, I have decided to make something else... Boiled eggs!

Ok seriously though, I have decided to ask my fellow bloggers to name the dish they want me to cook. Now majority carries the vote but let me warn you guys oooo ... Please keep it simple o else the next picture wey una go see na that of boiled eggs!

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Torch Light...Rare Species.....

Hope y'all had a lovely weekend. My weekend was rather ..hhmmmmm..how do i describe this weekend....eventful, disturbing, dramatic ..ok y'all should pick one.

So I attended my first wedding in this state (not telling...lol)...let's just say if you were looking to compile a list of not-to-dos for a wedding, this wedding was ripe. I left there convinced that i will have to play an active role in my wedding (previous plans had me flying in on the day of my wedding, driving to church with my groomsmen and leaving with my bride...hahahah). I really don't feel like blogging about this wedding ..i am trying my best to forget it as soon as possible cause if by Thursday, i still feel the way i feel right now, i won't be attending my second wedding in this state this coming weekend. If i manage to attend the wedding this weekend, i guarantee y'all one thing... I ma going there with my own Microphone even if it's going to be battery operated. I mean the MC this weekend was horrific..glorified mess....He is the kind of dude one would recommend getting a license before attempting a joke....man i have never seen an audience with such a straight face for three hours straight... i mean it was frustrating...if this weekend's host is anything like him, i am starting a reality show right there!

Anyway moving away from weddings...i had an interesting phone call this weekend (Sunday to be exact). I heard from a friend I hadn't seen in 8 years (we live in different countries)...It was nice catching up on old times but the conversation left me worried, a few more strands of grey hair, lost voice, more wrinkles but i'll still take her call the next time she calls...Let me give you a brief Bio of the babe... she's about 27, pretty, funny, Born Again, educated. Lets call her Mgbo.
Do you have some friends you probably have lost contact with over the years but you could bet anything that by now they'd be married? yeah? Well Mgbo falls in that category... I remember the last time i saw her, she had a couple of guys on her case. She was bubbling for God back then... she always seemed assured that all will be well.

Well 8 years on Mgbo is still single...from her story she's been through quite a bit, experienced different types of men and has decided to move back to Nigeria, in the hope that she'll find a better man back there.

What is this latest craze? she isn't the first babe that i've spoken with of recent who've decided to move back home in order to find their "mr. right". I know a couple of girls who were actually in relationships here, told their boyfriends they were visiting nigeria for one reason or another, returned engaged, married or have decided not to return.

Mgbo is of the opinion that guys out here (especially in the UK and US) are just looking to play. She said guys aren't looking to settle down these days, they just want a play thing (the way she said it was hilarious)...I argued otherwise....

I agree there are a few guys out there who are only looking for playmates but i believe there are quite a number of good men out there, looking for a good woman to settle down with but you can’t go to a meeting in hell and expect to find an angel in attendance. The question i keep asking is..where are you searching? what is it that you are searching for? and who guides you through your search?

Talking to Mgbo, i expected her to tell me she had dated a number of born again brothers and they were all a mess...funny thing is that wasn't the case…she doesn’t find the guys in church particularly attractive…she agrees that some are intelligent, burning for God but they don’t have that “thing”. I immediately remembered what a friend once told me "girls are attracted to bad boys or bastards" (direct quote). So I asked her where she finds the guys she attracted to and her list left me laughing but on the other hand feeling bad about the situation... "Its funny how even people who consider themselves "saved" still fight with the word when it comes to picking a life partner. Her example of a place where she finds the type of guys she’s attracted to led to my decision to blog about this…She’s determined to marry a naija guy…most of the naija guys that she’s attracted to, she meets in the clubs. The problem is all the guys she’s met in these settings are either not saved and as a result she’s had to compromise one too many times or they aren’t into “saved”/ church girls.

I’ll like to know what you all think…do you really believe good men and women are hard to find or do you agree that it’s based on your standards and where you look and what you are looking for?

In other news....

My cooking journey has commenced in earnest and our next mission is the famous "Egusi soup" i'll attempt cooking it with no help whatsoever, fire department on speed dial and will drafted. Will post the result or leave a note for whoever finds me to post the result...lol

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

It's hard out there for a pimp!

So I sat down during the long holiday weekend, reminiscing on my past, my present and what I desire for the future. I must say at times when you go searching, it's not always pleasant the things you find but like I say time and time again, I am an overcomer, I am redeemed!

So this weekend I reminisced on past relationships...You may be wondering what brought about this...Well let's just say food can be good and bad.

So it started off with me determining within myself that I must cut down on eating out (I eat out everyday, at least 3 meals a day) especially Nigerian restaurants(my sister went through my accounts one time and she actually thought I was being scammed by some company, cos they kept taking money out of my account everyday ...Poor girl didn't know it was a Nigerian restaurant where I lay my hat). So over the weekend, I decided to stop by a store where they sell Nigerian produce and "furnish"my place with these items (yup..You read it right... Previously I'll go into the stores and buy food items but never use them... I mean if you need to see what expired okra looks like, holla at me). I mean I walked out of that store determined to change and return to my previous ways (I used to love to cook...Before my work took over my life and school came calling)...So with this determination, I strolled into the kitchen and produced what I felt was a masterpiece. Before I proceed, let me say that I haven't had a reason to cook in over 4 years...I have been blessed to have people offer to cook for me, or patronize a great cook, located in one of the many naija spots I visit.
So four years ago, I could and strongly believe I still can cook almost all the famous naija delicacies but there were two dishes I just couldn't cook well (fried rice and stew). I mean the fried rice case wasn't that bad but my stew was ...hmmmm.... Well I'll be kind and say my stew was water with meat floating on it...Try it with rice and you'd think my aim was to flood the rice. So I purposed within my heart this weekend to make the bammest stew...Though I was rusty, like riding a bicycle, I believe once you have a skill, regardless of how many years have gone by, you still have it! ... So after laying down the stew, it came out thick and tasty...mennnn I was so excited (check out the pic above)...(as you can see the stew settles on top of the rice ..No shaking!!) ..Forget the scary looking plantains...They were rioting while I was deep frying them.

Anyway look at me dancing all around my crib, pleased at the success of my stew...That's how a friend dropped by to say hello and I told her of my success. The babe was eager to taste the stew, walked into the kitchen and came back out... I noticed an awkward silence and the plain expression on her face and I thought to myself... My goodness.. I must have floored this babe... Only for the babe to yarn "Damn! That is tomato"(you see why at times when you visit people they hide their food...It takes them forever to open their doors and when you walk in, you are welcomed by the scent of air-freshener)... Whatttttttttttttttttttttt! If I was a white boy now that statement would scar me for life ...Imagine me as a white boy caught slapping a cook around...convo in court will go thus
Lawyer: Do you know why you were arrested?
Miguel White: yes, for slapping the cook
Lawyer: Why did you slap the cook? Where you abused as a child?
Miguel White: yeah this one time, after cooking I was told my effort was crap and as such when I saw the cook, it reminded me of the lady that told me my stew was crap and so thinking it was her in another body, I reached out for the cook... I couldn't afford another abuse
Lawyer to Judge : Your honor, this is a clear case of abuse...Dude reacted based on an experience he had ...I feel he should be acquitted and probably have a therapist evaluate his condition.
Judge: I see your point and I concur...Case dismissed!

The painful thing is I have never tasted this babe's cooking and who knows..Maybe my stew would even taste better than hers (hmmm do I hear cooking competition?...hmmm)... Anyway after complaining and all the babe continued to eat the stew ooo...She was asking me for chicken left, right and center... I'll update you guys if I ever taste her cooking.

Anyway that got me thinking of all the babes I have been with who would spoil me with their cooking and also the horrible experiences I've had. One thing is clear... I am going to resume cooking... I think I might even enroll in one of the Nigerian Restaurants around...Probably intern there for two weeks, learning how to throw down!!! ...Then I'll move on to a cook school for a few weeks to learn how to make all these dem oyinbo food..."braised turkey on the run", "Chicken chay chay" "chicken peri peri" "lamb amoeba" ( U know like I do ..oyinbo food no dey get small name...na some heavy names dem get).

So in a nutshell, one thing I accomplished this weekend was the "resolution"I made... Cut down on eating out...Cook cook cook till you drop..Heading to an Indian restaurant tomorrow... ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ...

How was your weekend?

Friday, September 01, 2006

Miguel + Cab = Drama!

Ok folks..i just got back to my base...let me say this has been by far the worst summer for me... It's involved a lot of learning, kicking and shouting, meeting and leaving, ups and downs ... you can compare it to a pot of gumbo! sweet because of the things you've learnt, but complicated and hard because of the exepriences. So what is Miguel on this time? a lottttttttttttttttttt...let me grab a mint cos once i start its only the memory of my ex-bosses breath that will stop me ( hahhahaha) I'll share what i've learnt in parts...first off cab experience.

This summer has been rather educating for me on various levels but I must say i am totally baffled by my run-ins with cab drivers.... I mean what the hell is going on here? Am I being punk'd or is this a reality show I am being featured on without my express permission or is it that I just attract the worse cab drivers? ...hmmmm... hypothetically, do cab companies have a conversation that goes thus, when I call for a cab
ring! ring!! ring!!! (Phone Ringing)
Female picks up ..."XYZ Cab, can i help you"
Miguel: yeah i need a cab please
Female: Sir what's your name?
Miguel: Miguel
Female: where are you headed?
Miguel: place ABC
Female: Hold on let me find a cab nearest to you
Female thinking (hmmm who is the dumbest cab driver on the roster today?...there we go, cab 45...Miguel deserves this nutter)
Female: Sir, your cab should be in there in 15 minutes
I mean there has to be some selective thought that goes through the brains of the cab controllers when they are sending me a cab.

Cab Experience 1: hey this is Miguel… I am in Cincinnati, about boarding a flight for Indianapolis (28 mins flight) I’ll be there in 30 minutes; please pick me up from the airport…How about dude decides to drive to Cincinnati…WTH?

Cab Experience 2: Hi I am headed to church address... cab pulls up in church, I pay cab and give him my customary tip, I proceed to carry my bags (I think I had four pieces of luggage…so I had no free hand)..i alight from the cab, hoping dude would give me some help… anyway I notice that help is not forthcoming but I am hoping that since dude can see my hands are full, he’ll at least close his car door. As I proceed to walk, dude goes “ won’t you close car door?” I’m like...sorry about that but you can see my hands are full… from no where dude begins to insult me …I think pissed at the fact that I refused to drop my bags (which by the way were heavy and uncomfortable…added with the fact I had to cross a busy road)…at some point, I lose my cool and demand for my tip back… now in order for you to understand how funny this was, when I talk normally, my brit accent is heavy and as such while trying to understand what was going on, I was still on the brit mode…after a couple of F words from the dude, my Naija accent resurfaced … I mean you could hear me shout in my thick naija accent “Give me the tip I gave you now now !! Oya oya oya give me my tip back!... yup...he returned my tip and continued insulting himself as he walked back into his cab.

Cab Experience 3: So being that I had been having bad experiences with cab drivers so far, I decided to see if I could at least salvage some form of hope or whatever you might want to call it. I wasn’t ready to give up on them ...at least not yet… I still had a few weeks to go and was sure I’d need them. A high school buddy of mine had flown into the country and was in the state for a wedding. So I decided to plot the route using map quest. Where he stayed was just 5.3 miles away from my office…so I decided to call a cab; I printed the directions off map quest, went down stairs determined to make it work with this cab driver. Once I boarded the cab, I gave the guy the directions I had gotten off Map quest…as the journey commenced, dude thinking I wasn’t paying attention decided to create his own route and ignore my printout. My people a place that was 5.3 miles turned into 15 miles ooo…the guy was trying to justify why he took the route he took… oh well I wasn’t having it and so as a result of this, I decided to call the cab company and speak to his boss. The boss scolded the dude but the dude wasn’t hearing it… let’s just say my naija mode kicked in again! …

Driver: there is no difference in fare. If I took your road, plenty stop signs
Miguel: Listen! If you had taken the road I requested you take, I wouldn’t be sitting here complaining and you wouldn’t have wasted my time.
(at this point we’ve made it into the complex where I was to meet my buddy)
Driver: I am not moving an inch from here
Miguel: Good don’t! let me confirm I am in the right place
Driver: I promise I was not cheating. Ok pay me $5 less.
Miguel: I promise I won’t be paying you that much for a 5.3 mile trip and by the way you need to make a right at the stop sign
I truly think the switch in my accent and my battle-ready mode, convinced the dude to drive. When we got to my supposed- destination (apparently I ended up in the wrong building), I gave him what he had initially charged me with tip but not before leaving him with a piece of advice.
Miguel: You can’t prosper over-charging people
Driver: I pro…
Miguel: I truly don’t want to hear you promise…here you go
I got down and dude drove off; only for me to talk into the building and be told I was in the wrong place and that the building I needed was another 10 minute walk… kai! I believe I was being punished for letting this one go with a tip.

Cab Experience 4: this took place same day as cab experience #3. So there happens to be a cab driver I had previously negotiated terms with…problem with this driver is, when I need him dude is always somewhere far but when I listen, I hear a babe in the background (later found out dude is a gigalo)… anyway, I decided to take my buddy into town to show him around town and also grab something to eat. I called this cab dude… dude showed up, took us to an Indian restaurant, dropped us there and I told him to hang around the area. How about we are done eating and I call dude up and he goes “Miguel I’ll be there in 15 minutes”…15 what? What part of hang around the area didn’t you understand? The hang or the area? Anyway my buddy was in a hurry to head back for the wedding rehearsals…lets just say one hour thirty minutes later, we were still waiting on this dude…cause each time I called, he was 5 minutes away.

Cab Experience 5: So yesterday, I finally moved back to my base. I called my favorite local cab company, to send me a cab (I’ve never had any trouble with this company…the owners should know me by now based on my frequency of use)…anyhow, they send me this dodgy looking cab driver… dude tries to act all polite and starts some small talk. Anyway when you pre-order a cab, you are charged a flat rate (normally $28)… so I wasn’t too bothered as to what route the guy was taking…though for some strange reason the dude decided to take a route that involved paying a toll…why? Trust me I had no clue. Anyway dude gets me to my place and then I go “How much is it?” yeah I know I should have handed him the $28 I normally pay but I had been gone for 3 months so just needed to confirm things were still the same around here…to my shock dude said $35. I tried to reason with dude at first, seeing how polite he had been on our trip. Dude still insisted that that it was $35 and that he was hoping I’ll give him a healthy tip as well. For those on here that know me, I am always prepared to give folks healthy tips and so I agreed to give him a healthy tip.. I picked up my phone, called the cab company, told them how much I was being charged, the lady told me I was being over-charged that the fare should be $29; I passed the phone to the guy and dude was trying to explain to the cab company. Meanwhile I took my bags into my building, came back out and dude was insisting I now pay him $30 …Normally for the sake of peace, I’d just give him that and walk away but I had enough! What’s it with you cab drivers? Gave him my debit card, then switched to my naija mode…listen you had better charge $29 bucks … if for any strange reason, I see more than that on my statement, you won’t find it funny…how’s that for a healthy tip! With that my interaction with cab drivers for the summer ended.

I must say when I got in to my building I sat back to think why I was being over-charged and I drew the following conclusions… If and when I am traveling next and I need a cab, I’ll dress down…if the guy sees me wearing a torn t-shirt, I doubt he’ll over-charge me…I think he’ll be more worried about me paying a dime than over-charging.
Secondly from the time I board the cab until I get off, I’ll force my naija accent …need to learn some more lingoes to use… What? Do you know who I am? Do you know my fada? Ahhhhhh don’t even try me oooooo….