Where do I start

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Mugufied: what next?

Welcome to a day in the life of a mugu. When it comes to matters pertaining to relationships, the opposite sex or friends, I've been called naive and a few times innocent but for the first time last night, a friend (lets call her the Gemini mother) called me a mugu!!! Please readers help me judge if in fact I am a certified mugu or not...having asked this of you, if after reading this you feel the need to call me a name worse than "mugu", kindly remember I am the victim here (yes I am pulling out the victim card).

Here goes:

There is a certain lady I've known for the most part of my life and I'm sure I've blogged about her in the past (can't be bothered to search now) but for the purpose of this gist I'll call her 'chooka'.

I don't want to bore you with how we met, blah, blah, blah but we met about 20 years ago. We have always liked ourselves and people have constantly teased us about how good we would be together and the believe we'll end up with each other. She knows me better than any other girl...knows my strengths and weaknesses and generally how to handle me (yes! I can be a handful).
Anyway for a number of years we avoided the thought and talk of dating, until 2004. In 2004, I was in a relationship and was thinking of taking it to the next level. While trying to make a decision on whether to take it to the next level or not, I had cause to make a stop in chooka's city. I met up with chooka and decided share my intentions with her and to my surprise chooka wasn't thrilled about my plans. She felt we owed it to ourselves, since we knew each other so well, to explore a relationship. To cut the long story short, a month or two later, after a lot of reflection, I couldn't help agreeing with her. As good as my current relationship was, the lady didn't understand me quite like chooka. On my return to base, I noticed we started having a lot of arguments (when I think back now, I can't help but think I was the cause of most of the arguments)
I started dating Chooka and while we were dating, she gained admission into a school in a different country. We continued dating despite the distance and she continued sharing her words of undying love. Months into her program, I had cause to visit Atlanta for a friend's party. While at that party, I met a couple of ladies who were school mates of Chooka. As expected, I asked if they knew her and to my excitement they did. One went on to share some news that left me dazed..."Yeah I know her...Her fiance lives here in Atlanta..He actually spent a quarter with her in XXX"...Fiance? spent a quarter??? I had never been to that country before, we weren't engaged,so it clearly wasn't me. Waited for Chooka to return before bringing up the topic and she claimed her ex came to see her, to beg her to return to him but was there for just a couple of days. I refused to believe she could be lying and as such I accepted her explanation (some time later, I got confirmation that in fact he actually lived with her in school for a couple of months). A few months later I decided to break things off because I noticed certain inconsistencies but never brought up the fact I got confirmation from some one else.
So you might ask, what does this have to do with me being called a mugu..right? Well last year she made a reappearance. She claimed to still be in love with me, she claimed to have been single and was still dealing with our separation...Asked her if she was seeing anyone at the time she said no. She kept bombarding me with messages and for some reason or the other, my instincts kept telling me to avoid her...so I did. She went cold for a few months and five days ago, she appeared again. This time she called me with a local number. I was shocked she was around and couldn't understand what had brought her to town. She came over to see me...Again, she went on about how she hasn't been with anyone, how they tried hooking her up with some chap and how she wasn't feeling the chap and was avoiding the chap...how she has kept herself ...blah blah blah! While having this conversation and while she's trying to prove that I am all she wants, she claimed to have a picture of me...she took up her blackberry and started searching for the picture...as she searched, my eye caught a naked picture of her....confused, I asked why she had a naked picture of herself and she said "I enjoy taking them and just looking at myself" as she continued scrolling, I noticed a folder tagged "my baby" the folder picture was also a naked picture. Again baffled I asked to see it but she said no I couldn't. She proceeded to show me some of my pictures but refused to allow me hold the phone or scroll through myself...This I found weird. Anyway, a couple of hours later, she picked up my phone and started scrolling through and I figured this was a good time to make my move...So I picked up her phone and decided to scroll through as well....Immediately she noticed, she screamed and started chasing me about to get the phone off me...At this point I had gotten to pictures of herself naked and lo and behold pictures of a naked guy as well...recent pictures...What didn't my eyes see... I must say the shock left me speechless and all I could do was get her a ride and all I could say was "womennnnnnn!" I love you has become "good morning"....at times you say it but most times you don't mean it!

On a different tangent, I have a question and would love to hear from y'all....Do you believe a relationship can stand the test of time, if a couple desists from having sex before marriage?

Please note: if you discover typos it's because I can't be bothered to go through and make the necessary corrections...nothing against you but just that I am still weak!

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

No title

I typically have a title for what I am going to write but today is different. Different for many reasons but I'll focus on one in particular. Over the years, I've heard people say it's easy to give advice than to take, it's easy to judge when you are not the one experiencing it and it's easier said than done...These words have been used under various circumstances and situations but for the most part when it pertains to a relationship.

So currently going through that period where you realize a relationship you were in, that you hoped would be your last, is gradually coming to an end and you clearly have no control over the outcome. I must confess it is tough! I can now understand what a couple of you who have written me while going through a similar fate were feeling. You are torn, can't believe this person who sang about how much they love you, vowed to go through 'thick and thin' with you, who you've forgiven their indiscretion on more than one occasion, could now be the one to pull the plug without a thought about how you feel but I have a pill for you, which I will also swallow....There is always tomorrow and someone will come along who would rock your world!
Yes! I am not just psyching myself! I sincerely believe it! Folks ask if God is still in the business of answering prayers and my answer is a definite and resounding YES! He is! You might not see it as you go through this period but if you continue to remember what His word says "For I know the thoughts I have towards you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a FUTURE and a hope" Jeremiah 29:11...You will realize that He works everything for your own good. Yes I said for your own good. You wonder how a God that loves you can allow you go through so much heart ache? Where he expects you to start from after you've given so much to this relationship. I say to you what I say to myself...if you believe the God you serve or know He is a fair and loving God, be assured that the greater the pain you feel, the sweeter your testimony will be when He finally brings the person He has created just for you.

So while you wait to see His next move, keep believing that tomorrow will definitely be better than today...for all you know this person currently breaking up with you might be your tomorrow but a better version. At times, there has to be a separation for a realization to occur...from that realization, education is gained and from that education, a better bond/relationship is built. For all you know, the one God has created for you, might be that friend who leads you out of this period, might be someone lingering around you...For all you know, your tomorrow is here...Wake up! lift your head up and walk into your destiny.

Pray for me as I pray for you. Love is a great thing. I am in love with love and I enjoy being in love with love and will forever love.

Tee lady, I am sure you expected to read something different but this is the kettle currently on the stove. I promise to return with that post.

Until my return, I pray that the God that created us, will bless us, keep us and comfort those of us that need comforting. I pray that He continues to reveal His goodness to us and that we see reason to give Him thanks daily. I pray that He that started a work in us will be faithful to complete it and that our unfaithfulness at certain times will not be held against us. I pray that the best of your today, will be the worst of your tomorrow and that your life and desires be fulfilled according to His purpose and plans for you. In Jesus Name! Amen!