How to keep a man.....
So while responding to Mphahlele's comment, my gist bulb lit and me being the nice chap that i am i decided hey i'll do this for the ladies...I hear some of the ladies going "oh please! what do you know about how to keep a man?! (fingers snapping, neck twisting & eyes rolling)...i realise i don't know a whole lot (even though i am a man) but i know where women get it wrong...brothers please correct me if i am wrong...sistas i jus dey gist ooooo
Women come in different forms, with different games but same purpose...each weighed with a question "what do i have to do to keep this man?"...i have decided to use my experience and stories to categorize these women (Note: Not all women are like this...there are some truly strong, confident and sincere women out there...)
The "I love to cook babe": some time ago i met a babe that i felt we rhymed well together... driven, mature, intelligent, a true naija beauty, long hair, sweet as can be. Anyway, we got talking and se told me how she loves to cook and that she spoilt her ex rotten with her mouth-watering delicacies... so i felt it was appropriate i share with her that i like a woman that can cook..ah! ah! (the way to a man's heart is through his stomach). Anyway to cut the long story short, she invited me over to her place one weekend..the idea was she'll cook up a storm...so the day finally came ..monsieur miguel decided to fast for the day in preparation for what i hoped was going to be a night of egunje and mouth cleaning... i got to the babes place...man as i walked into the house the aroma was off the chain.. i mean its either my nose can't differentiate between the smell of cooking gone bad or hunger had rewired my senses... i mean when the babe brought the food..rice in one plate, stew in another, as the meal approached me i noticed the rice shaking ...ah ah ...why is the rice floating? anyhow lets just say i sat there and like a well trained man ate the food...man my stomach grumbleeeeeed .. i mean for days ...i'll save the nasties but you get the picture...i hear some of you asking how was the stew...lets just say the meat, onions and tomatoe were fighting..in the middle of the fight, salt and pepper escaped...as they were escaping, maggi zapped...they all blamed it on oil scarcity.
Anyhow my point here is...after this episode, it was tough trusting anything the girl told me... Advice for the ladies... if you can't cook, dont know how to cook, or just hate cooking, tell the guy straight up..if he is stupid to leave a damsel like you because of that, you are better off than the headache that come months into a relatiosnhip.
"The rice is mine, so is the sauce and goat meat" type babe: now these are the dangerous ones... i mean i remember a babe that gave me food in her place and swore that she cooked it. Unfortunately for her, a friend of mine invited me to a Nigerian restaurant... i mean the rice and stew (yup u can sell me for rice, stew and soft plantain) tasted like what i ad in the girls place... i was even telling my friend that man its too good to be true..surely i was right... i confronted the babe and by golly she confessed to buying the food from the restaurant and claiming the cooking rights... i mean thats an infringement of the cooks right! she apologised and all but the harm had been done already... found it hard trusting this babe as well.
"Independent Lady": Ladies let me say this...theres nothing wrong with being independent...theres everything right about it but one piece of advice..be careful how you flaunt it...men are easily put off by women that take their independence too far...example...a friend of mine had this babe that he was seeing, i mean dude was miserable...dude would always run to me to seek advice cos this babe was causing the guy to have wrinkles... i mean botox couldnt save the miserable look this dude had each time i saw him. Every other weekend, this babe would get up and travel to another city for one event or another...the problem is, this dude was always the last to know she was traveling somewhere...she'd either call him on her way on the day shes leaving, on her way to the airport or when she got to her destination... i mean this babe crashed more weddings and out-of-town parties that if the movie wedding crasher was a documentary, she would have been the main feature. Oh well after the dude was yabbed enough times by his boys and their girlfriends, dude decided to wear his trouser and take action... now dude has got so much attention while the babe is yearning for a relationship.
Change Agent: Women! you can't change a man...all you can do is influence him...a man will only change if he feels the conviction...other than that, you stand no chance! my christian sistas that go around with an unbeliever, in the hope that she will change him...one word...ok two words ...THE BIBLE...its clearly written there ..do not be unevenly yoked...enough said! secondly, if when you met the guy he told you he likes chewing stick and that he's loved chewing stick...if you know that doesnt work for you..my dear find ya square root!...if you choose to hang around in the hope that you can influence him to change, sure be my guest but don't get frustrated if you see no change. Don't get mad at him for refusing to change something he's never had a problem with! if its too hard to tolerate..my dear find you another! A good investment reaps some form of return... if you continually invest and you get no return and you choose to continue, i'll say hmmmmm and leave it at that.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T: Before you say anything... i totally agree with you...guys especially Naija guys want what they don't sow...and some have a different understanding of what respect is...but i'll say this to you a man craves respect ...i'll believe that a woman also craves a man she can respect...A guy can tell when he is with a babe that isn't respectful...i can clearly tell you that if he is keeping you around, you are like the donut tire... when he finds time he'll go to the tire shop and buy a proper tire and you will get the BOOT (lol...a pat on my back for that analogy...chei..tire and BOOT)...If you notice that the guy doesnt respect you and you choose to stay in that relatiosnhip, be sure that the guy has formed an opinion about you...cause guys know when they are giving a babe crap..if the babe continually takes it...some guys will walk all over her...so ladies in the words of Aretha Franklin" R-E-S-P-E-C-T find out what it means to meR-E-S-P-E-C-T take out the TCP ohhhh (Sock it to me,etc.)"
Mother hen: while dating, if you get as far as being introduced to the mumsie, please oooo please i am begging you...never speak ill of a guys mum...even if gus lie that they are not their mums pet..its a lieeeeeeee...we take it serious when a babe can't seem to get along with our mums...if a guy knowing this keeps you around, i'll bet you are temporary... Guys don't be stupid..if its clear the babe despises your mother..let her go... i remember a dude who knew clearly that his babe disliked his mum but dude said he was in love...like i said and i will say again ..dude was in lust...oh well he ended up marying the babe...how about after the marriage the guys mum is not allowed to even visit!
Friends Friends Friends: Ladies be careful with whom you gist about your relationship... Your friens might want the best for you but their advice will not lead to that...don't get me wrong..friends are great especially when they keep knocking you for failing to see how badly you are being treated by a guy that is suppose to love you but beware..if you have a good man, your friend might want some of him... guys can also tell if you are a babe they would want to settle down with from the kind of friends you keep...if you've got a loud mouthed friend ..who all she does is talk about people, your man is watching!...if he doesnt complain, it could be one of two things...either he enjoys gist and so he welcomes such people or he's already come to the conclusion that you are no different from your friend.
I LOVE YOU: ladies please even if you saw a vision or its written on the guys forehead "Mine" ..don't go telling the guy you love him after the first week..it leaves the guy thinking you are a needy person and that isnt always good...in fact its never good. Even if you genuinely feel it, control yourself at least give it a month and then calmly tell the guy "Dude i realize we've been talking for a few weeks now but i think i am beginning to like you and i truly dont know if i should encourage the feeling or kill it"...if dude doesnt respond...my dear pick race ooo...if dude hesitates my dear keep your eyes wide open..(all i am saying is ...his initial reaction says alot)...but please dont go saying "Dude I love you" after week 2 ..haba!!! you'll cause the dude to panic...I remember a babe i had onl spoken with probably four times and seen once in the span of a month ...one night we are talking over the phone and she goes "Wow i never thought i could fall in love so easily" ...I never thought so too...man i remember putting my MVF ( most valuable finger) into over-drive... i mean from that point on i cherished Voicemail..cos sometimes you listen ..other times you simply delete without listening....huhuhuhuuhuhuuaahhuahhah.........
Dressing: sorry but i have to be crude here... you can't dress like a prostitute and expect a guy to respect you...what do you think has attracted the dude to you in the first place? your sense of style? ha ha ha ...LUSTTTTTTTTTT! and when a guy has had enough he will carry on like nothing happened...You hear it preached in church...its true.
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk free: I talk to sistas about the true essence of a woman...In ancient days, i bet some of you have read stories of how guys used to fight in order to woo a lady they like...trust me a man cherishes that which he has to fight for than that which comes for free...away from this...who do you desire to please God or Man? Don't you know your body is the sanctuary of the most high? and the Spirit of God lives in You? ... its funny how women mess around and then when they get to church they quote "He who is in me is greater than He who is in the world" ...man i crack up ...hahahahahaha...
I'll stop here...cause i am feeling the heat around me...expect a part 2! but i'll leave you all with this...Ecc. 3 ...theres a time and season for everything under the sun. A man that tells you if you dont sleep with him it means you dont love him, trust me coming from a guy that has played that game, its a lie from the pits of hell...he doesn't love you...he LUSTS you...if you give in, trust me you've left yourself exposed to the wiles of the devil! seek to please God and everything else will fall into place...
Anyway i just got into Chicago... theres an event here tomorrow... i brought my camera with me... i'll keep you all posted with gist and possibly pictures... Are we cool? lol
Women come in different forms, with different games but same purpose...each weighed with a question "what do i have to do to keep this man?"...i have decided to use my experience and stories to categorize these women (Note: Not all women are like this...there are some truly strong, confident and sincere women out there...)
The "I love to cook babe": some time ago i met a babe that i felt we rhymed well together... driven, mature, intelligent, a true naija beauty, long hair, sweet as can be. Anyway, we got talking and se told me how she loves to cook and that she spoilt her ex rotten with her mouth-watering delicacies... so i felt it was appropriate i share with her that i like a woman that can cook..ah! ah! (the way to a man's heart is through his stomach). Anyway to cut the long story short, she invited me over to her place one weekend..the idea was she'll cook up a storm...so the day finally came ..monsieur miguel decided to fast for the day in preparation for what i hoped was going to be a night of egunje and mouth cleaning... i got to the babes place...man as i walked into the house the aroma was off the chain.. i mean its either my nose can't differentiate between the smell of cooking gone bad or hunger had rewired my senses... i mean when the babe brought the food..rice in one plate, stew in another, as the meal approached me i noticed the rice shaking ...ah ah ...why is the rice floating? anyhow lets just say i sat there and like a well trained man ate the food...man my stomach grumbleeeeeed .. i mean for days ...i'll save the nasties but you get the picture...i hear some of you asking how was the stew...lets just say the meat, onions and tomatoe were fighting..in the middle of the fight, salt and pepper escaped...as they were escaping, maggi zapped...they all blamed it on oil scarcity.
Anyhow my point here is...after this episode, it was tough trusting anything the girl told me... Advice for the ladies... if you can't cook, dont know how to cook, or just hate cooking, tell the guy straight up..if he is stupid to leave a damsel like you because of that, you are better off than the headache that come months into a relatiosnhip.
"The rice is mine, so is the sauce and goat meat" type babe: now these are the dangerous ones... i mean i remember a babe that gave me food in her place and swore that she cooked it. Unfortunately for her, a friend of mine invited me to a Nigerian restaurant... i mean the rice and stew (yup u can sell me for rice, stew and soft plantain) tasted like what i ad in the girls place... i was even telling my friend that man its too good to be true..surely i was right... i confronted the babe and by golly she confessed to buying the food from the restaurant and claiming the cooking rights... i mean thats an infringement of the cooks right! she apologised and all but the harm had been done already... found it hard trusting this babe as well.
"Independent Lady": Ladies let me say this...theres nothing wrong with being independent...theres everything right about it but one piece of advice..be careful how you flaunt it...men are easily put off by women that take their independence too far...example...a friend of mine had this babe that he was seeing, i mean dude was miserable...dude would always run to me to seek advice cos this babe was causing the guy to have wrinkles... i mean botox couldnt save the miserable look this dude had each time i saw him. Every other weekend, this babe would get up and travel to another city for one event or another...the problem is, this dude was always the last to know she was traveling somewhere...she'd either call him on her way on the day shes leaving, on her way to the airport or when she got to her destination... i mean this babe crashed more weddings and out-of-town parties that if the movie wedding crasher was a documentary, she would have been the main feature. Oh well after the dude was yabbed enough times by his boys and their girlfriends, dude decided to wear his trouser and take action... now dude has got so much attention while the babe is yearning for a relationship.
Change Agent: Women! you can't change a man...all you can do is influence him...a man will only change if he feels the conviction...other than that, you stand no chance! my christian sistas that go around with an unbeliever, in the hope that she will change him...one word...ok two words ...THE BIBLE...its clearly written there ..do not be unevenly yoked...enough said! secondly, if when you met the guy he told you he likes chewing stick and that he's loved chewing stick...if you know that doesnt work for you..my dear find ya square root!...if you choose to hang around in the hope that you can influence him to change, sure be my guest but don't get frustrated if you see no change. Don't get mad at him for refusing to change something he's never had a problem with! if its too hard to tolerate..my dear find you another! A good investment reaps some form of return... if you continually invest and you get no return and you choose to continue, i'll say hmmmmm and leave it at that.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T: Before you say anything... i totally agree with you...guys especially Naija guys want what they don't sow...and some have a different understanding of what respect is...but i'll say this to you a man craves respect ...i'll believe that a woman also craves a man she can respect...A guy can tell when he is with a babe that isn't respectful...i can clearly tell you that if he is keeping you around, you are like the donut tire... when he finds time he'll go to the tire shop and buy a proper tire and you will get the BOOT (lol...a pat on my back for that analogy...chei..tire and BOOT)...If you notice that the guy doesnt respect you and you choose to stay in that relatiosnhip, be sure that the guy has formed an opinion about you...cause guys know when they are giving a babe crap..if the babe continually takes it...some guys will walk all over her...so ladies in the words of Aretha Franklin" R-E-S-P-E-C-T find out what it means to meR-E-S-P-E-C-T take out the TCP ohhhh (Sock it to me,etc.)"
Mother hen: while dating, if you get as far as being introduced to the mumsie, please oooo please i am begging you...never speak ill of a guys mum...even if gus lie that they are not their mums pet..its a lieeeeeeee...we take it serious when a babe can't seem to get along with our mums...if a guy knowing this keeps you around, i'll bet you are temporary... Guys don't be stupid..if its clear the babe despises your mother..let her go... i remember a dude who knew clearly that his babe disliked his mum but dude said he was in love...like i said and i will say again ..dude was in lust...oh well he ended up marying the babe...how about after the marriage the guys mum is not allowed to even visit!
Friends Friends Friends: Ladies be careful with whom you gist about your relationship... Your friens might want the best for you but their advice will not lead to that...don't get me wrong..friends are great especially when they keep knocking you for failing to see how badly you are being treated by a guy that is suppose to love you but beware..if you have a good man, your friend might want some of him... guys can also tell if you are a babe they would want to settle down with from the kind of friends you keep...if you've got a loud mouthed friend ..who all she does is talk about people, your man is watching!...if he doesnt complain, it could be one of two things...either he enjoys gist and so he welcomes such people or he's already come to the conclusion that you are no different from your friend.
I LOVE YOU: ladies please even if you saw a vision or its written on the guys forehead "Mine" ..don't go telling the guy you love him after the first week..it leaves the guy thinking you are a needy person and that isnt always good...in fact its never good. Even if you genuinely feel it, control yourself at least give it a month and then calmly tell the guy "Dude i realize we've been talking for a few weeks now but i think i am beginning to like you and i truly dont know if i should encourage the feeling or kill it"...if dude doesnt respond...my dear pick race ooo...if dude hesitates my dear keep your eyes wide open..(all i am saying is ...his initial reaction says alot)...but please dont go saying "Dude I love you" after week 2 ..haba!!! you'll cause the dude to panic...I remember a babe i had onl spoken with probably four times and seen once in the span of a month ...one night we are talking over the phone and she goes "Wow i never thought i could fall in love so easily" ...I never thought so too...man i remember putting my MVF ( most valuable finger) into over-drive... i mean from that point on i cherished Voicemail..cos sometimes you listen ..other times you simply delete without listening....huhuhuhuuhuhuuaahhuahhah.........
Dressing: sorry but i have to be crude here... you can't dress like a prostitute and expect a guy to respect you...what do you think has attracted the dude to you in the first place? your sense of style? ha ha ha ...LUSTTTTTTTTTT! and when a guy has had enough he will carry on like nothing happened...You hear it preached in church...its true.
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk free: I talk to sistas about the true essence of a woman...In ancient days, i bet some of you have read stories of how guys used to fight in order to woo a lady they like...trust me a man cherishes that which he has to fight for than that which comes for free...away from this...who do you desire to please God or Man? Don't you know your body is the sanctuary of the most high? and the Spirit of God lives in You? ... its funny how women mess around and then when they get to church they quote "He who is in me is greater than He who is in the world" ...man i crack up ...hahahahahaha...
I'll stop here...cause i am feeling the heat around me...expect a part 2! but i'll leave you all with this...Ecc. 3 ...theres a time and season for everything under the sun. A man that tells you if you dont sleep with him it means you dont love him, trust me coming from a guy that has played that game, its a lie from the pits of hell...he doesn't love you...he LUSTS you...if you give in, trust me you've left yourself exposed to the wiles of the devil! seek to please God and everything else will fall into place...
Anyway i just got into Chicago... theres an event here tomorrow... i brought my camera with me... i'll keep you all posted with gist and possibly pictures... Are we cool? lol
posted by Miguel @ 10:43 PM
26 Comments
