Miguel + Cab = Drama!

Ok folks..i just got back to my base...let me say this has been by far the worst summer for me... It's involved a lot of learning, kicking and shouting, meeting and leaving, ups and downs ... you can compare it to a pot of gumbo! sweet because of the things you've learnt, but complicated and hard because of the exepriences. So what is Miguel on this time? a lottttttttttttttttttt...let me grab a mint cos once i start its only the memory of my ex-bosses breath that will stop me ( hahhahaha) I'll share what i've learnt in parts...first off cab experience.

This summer has been rather educating for me on various levels but I must say i am totally baffled by my run-ins with cab drivers.... I mean what the hell is going on here? Am I being punk'd or is this a reality show I am being featured on without my express permission or is it that I just attract the worse cab drivers? ...hmmmm... hypothetically, do cab companies have a conversation that goes thus, when I call for a cab
ring! ring!! ring!!! (Phone Ringing)
Female picks up ..."XYZ Cab, can i help you"
Miguel: yeah i need a cab please
Female: Sir what's your name?
Miguel: Miguel
Female: where are you headed?
Miguel: place ABC
Female: Hold on let me find a cab nearest to you
Female thinking (hmmm who is the dumbest cab driver on the roster today?...there we go, cab 45...Miguel deserves this nutter)
Female: Sir, your cab should be in there in 15 minutes
I mean there has to be some selective thought that goes through the brains of the cab controllers when they are sending me a cab.

Cab Experience 1: hey this is Miguel… I am in Cincinnati, about boarding a flight for Indianapolis (28 mins flight) I’ll be there in 30 minutes; please pick me up from the airport…How about dude decides to drive to Cincinnati…WTH?

Cab Experience 2: Hi I am headed to church address... cab pulls up in church, I pay cab and give him my customary tip, I proceed to carry my bags (I think I had four pieces of luggage…so I had no free hand)..i alight from the cab, hoping dude would give me some help… anyway I notice that help is not forthcoming but I am hoping that since dude can see my hands are full, he’ll at least close his car door. As I proceed to walk, dude goes “ won’t you close car door?” I’m like...sorry about that but you can see my hands are full… from no where dude begins to insult me …I think pissed at the fact that I refused to drop my bags (which by the way were heavy and uncomfortable…added with the fact I had to cross a busy road)…at some point, I lose my cool and demand for my tip back… now in order for you to understand how funny this was, when I talk normally, my brit accent is heavy and as such while trying to understand what was going on, I was still on the brit mode…after a couple of F words from the dude, my Naija accent resurfaced … I mean you could hear me shout in my thick naija accent “Give me the tip I gave you now now !! Oya oya oya give me my tip back!... yup...he returned my tip and continued insulting himself as he walked back into his cab.

Cab Experience 3: So being that I had been having bad experiences with cab drivers so far, I decided to see if I could at least salvage some form of hope or whatever you might want to call it. I wasn’t ready to give up on them ...at least not yet… I still had a few weeks to go and was sure I’d need them. A high school buddy of mine had flown into the country and was in the state for a wedding. So I decided to plot the route using map quest. Where he stayed was just 5.3 miles away from my office…so I decided to call a cab; I printed the directions off map quest, went down stairs determined to make it work with this cab driver. Once I boarded the cab, I gave the guy the directions I had gotten off Map quest…as the journey commenced, dude thinking I wasn’t paying attention decided to create his own route and ignore my printout. My people a place that was 5.3 miles turned into 15 miles ooo…the guy was trying to justify why he took the route he took… oh well I wasn’t having it and so as a result of this, I decided to call the cab company and speak to his boss. The boss scolded the dude but the dude wasn’t hearing it… let’s just say my naija mode kicked in again! …

Driver: there is no difference in fare. If I took your road, plenty stop signs
Miguel: Listen! If you had taken the road I requested you take, I wouldn’t be sitting here complaining and you wouldn’t have wasted my time.
(at this point we’ve made it into the complex where I was to meet my buddy)
Driver: I am not moving an inch from here
Miguel: Good don’t! let me confirm I am in the right place
Driver: I promise I was not cheating. Ok pay me $5 less.
Miguel: I promise I won’t be paying you that much for a 5.3 mile trip and by the way you need to make a right at the stop sign
I truly think the switch in my accent and my battle-ready mode, convinced the dude to drive. When we got to my supposed- destination (apparently I ended up in the wrong building), I gave him what he had initially charged me with tip but not before leaving him with a piece of advice.
Miguel: You can’t prosper over-charging people
Driver: I pro…
Miguel: I truly don’t want to hear you promise…here you go
I got down and dude drove off; only for me to talk into the building and be told I was in the wrong place and that the building I needed was another 10 minute walk… kai! I believe I was being punished for letting this one go with a tip.

Cab Experience 4: this took place same day as cab experience #3. So there happens to be a cab driver I had previously negotiated terms with…problem with this driver is, when I need him dude is always somewhere far but when I listen, I hear a babe in the background (later found out dude is a gigalo)… anyway, I decided to take my buddy into town to show him around town and also grab something to eat. I called this cab dude… dude showed up, took us to an Indian restaurant, dropped us there and I told him to hang around the area. How about we are done eating and I call dude up and he goes “Miguel I’ll be there in 15 minutes”…15 what? What part of hang around the area didn’t you understand? The hang or the area? Anyway my buddy was in a hurry to head back for the wedding rehearsals…lets just say one hour thirty minutes later, we were still waiting on this dude…cause each time I called, he was 5 minutes away.

Cab Experience 5: So yesterday, I finally moved back to my base. I called my favorite local cab company, to send me a cab (I’ve never had any trouble with this company…the owners should know me by now based on my frequency of use)…anyhow, they send me this dodgy looking cab driver… dude tries to act all polite and starts some small talk. Anyway when you pre-order a cab, you are charged a flat rate (normally $28)… so I wasn’t too bothered as to what route the guy was taking…though for some strange reason the dude decided to take a route that involved paying a toll…why? Trust me I had no clue. Anyway dude gets me to my place and then I go “How much is it?” yeah I know I should have handed him the $28 I normally pay but I had been gone for 3 months so just needed to confirm things were still the same around here…to my shock dude said $35. I tried to reason with dude at first, seeing how polite he had been on our trip. Dude still insisted that that it was $35 and that he was hoping I’ll give him a healthy tip as well. For those on here that know me, I am always prepared to give folks healthy tips and so I agreed to give him a healthy tip.. I picked up my phone, called the cab company, told them how much I was being charged, the lady told me I was being over-charged that the fare should be $29; I passed the phone to the guy and dude was trying to explain to the cab company. Meanwhile I took my bags into my building, came back out and dude was insisting I now pay him $30 …Normally for the sake of peace, I’d just give him that and walk away but I had enough! What’s it with you cab drivers? Gave him my debit card, then switched to my naija mode…listen you had better charge $29 bucks … if for any strange reason, I see more than that on my statement, you won’t find it funny…how’s that for a healthy tip! With that my interaction with cab drivers for the summer ended.

I must say when I got in to my building I sat back to think why I was being over-charged and I drew the following conclusions… If and when I am traveling next and I need a cab, I’ll dress down…if the guy sees me wearing a torn t-shirt, I doubt he’ll over-charge me…I think he’ll be more worried about me paying a dime than over-charging.
Secondly from the time I board the cab until I get off, I’ll force my naija accent …need to learn some more lingoes to use… What? Do you know who I am? Do you know my fada? Ahhhhhh don’t even try me oooooo….