It's hard out there for a pimp!

So I sat down during the long holiday weekend, reminiscing on my past, my present and what I desire for the future. I must say at times when you go searching, it's not always pleasant the things you find but like I say time and time again, I am an overcomer, I am redeemed!

So this weekend I reminisced on past relationships...You may be wondering what brought about this...Well let's just say food can be good and bad.

So it started off with me determining within myself that I must cut down on eating out (I eat out everyday, at least 3 meals a day) especially Nigerian restaurants(my sister went through my accounts one time and she actually thought I was being scammed by some company, cos they kept taking money out of my account everyday ...Poor girl didn't know it was a Nigerian restaurant where I lay my hat). So over the weekend, I decided to stop by a store where they sell Nigerian produce and "furnish"my place with these items (yup..You read it right... Previously I'll go into the stores and buy food items but never use them... I mean if you need to see what expired okra looks like, holla at me). I mean I walked out of that store determined to change and return to my previous ways (I used to love to cook...Before my work took over my life and school came calling)...So with this determination, I strolled into the kitchen and produced what I felt was a masterpiece. Before I proceed, let me say that I haven't had a reason to cook in over 4 years...I have been blessed to have people offer to cook for me, or patronize a great cook, located in one of the many naija spots I visit.
So four years ago, I could and strongly believe I still can cook almost all the famous naija delicacies but there were two dishes I just couldn't cook well (fried rice and stew). I mean the fried rice case wasn't that bad but my stew was ...hmmmm.... Well I'll be kind and say my stew was water with meat floating on it...Try it with rice and you'd think my aim was to flood the rice. So I purposed within my heart this weekend to make the bammest stew...Though I was rusty, like riding a bicycle, I believe once you have a skill, regardless of how many years have gone by, you still have it! ... So after laying down the stew, it came out thick and tasty...mennnn I was so excited (check out the pic above)...(as you can see the stew settles on top of the rice ..No shaking!!) ..Forget the scary looking plantains...They were rioting while I was deep frying them.

Anyway look at me dancing all around my crib, pleased at the success of my stew...That's how a friend dropped by to say hello and I told her of my success. The babe was eager to taste the stew, walked into the kitchen and came back out... I noticed an awkward silence and the plain expression on her face and I thought to myself... My goodness.. I must have floored this babe... Only for the babe to yarn "Damn! That is tomato"(you see why at times when you visit people they hide their food...It takes them forever to open their doors and when you walk in, you are welcomed by the scent of air-freshener)... Whatttttttttttttttttttttt! If I was a white boy now that statement would scar me for life ...Imagine me as a white boy caught slapping a cook around...convo in court will go thus
Lawyer: Do you know why you were arrested?
Miguel White: yes, for slapping the cook
Lawyer: Why did you slap the cook? Where you abused as a child?
Miguel White: yeah this one time, after cooking I was told my effort was crap and as such when I saw the cook, it reminded me of the lady that told me my stew was crap and so thinking it was her in another body, I reached out for the cook... I couldn't afford another abuse
Lawyer to Judge : Your honor, this is a clear case of abuse...Dude reacted based on an experience he had ...I feel he should be acquitted and probably have a therapist evaluate his condition.
Judge: I see your point and I concur...Case dismissed!

The painful thing is I have never tasted this babe's cooking and who knows..Maybe my stew would even taste better than hers (hmmm do I hear cooking competition?...hmmm)... Anyway after complaining and all the babe continued to eat the stew ooo...She was asking me for chicken left, right and center... I'll update you guys if I ever taste her cooking.

Anyway that got me thinking of all the babes I have been with who would spoil me with their cooking and also the horrible experiences I've had. One thing is clear... I am going to resume cooking... I think I might even enroll in one of the Nigerian Restaurants around...Probably intern there for two weeks, learning how to throw down!!! ...Then I'll move on to a cook school for a few weeks to learn how to make all these dem oyinbo food..."braised turkey on the run", "Chicken chay chay" "chicken peri peri" "lamb amoeba" ( U know like I do ..oyinbo food no dey get small name...na some heavy names dem get).

So in a nutshell, one thing I accomplished this weekend was the "resolution"I made... Cut down on eating out...Cook cook cook till you drop..Heading to an Indian restaurant tomorrow... ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ...

How was your weekend?