How to keep a man Part Deux!!!

Ollaaaaaaa! I am back with part 2 of my write-up “how to keep a man”. I must say for the past week or so, it’s been tough for me to sleep…now I’ve spent the past couple of days deliberating as to why sleep has chosen to depart from me and I came up with this theory… Bijou won’t let me rest until I post part 2…so bijoustic ..here goeth part 2 enjoy!

Mr. Nobody today: A lot of women spend time looking at today without considering the fact that tomorrow will never be like today… for instance, the bird that took a dump on your car yesterday will not necessarily pick on your car today (rather it picked on mine!). I hear so many women talking down at their friends… “What are you doing with that loser?” “Ahmed is toasting you and you are doing shakara because of a man that isn’t headed anywhere…Ahmed drives a 760 Li…spanking new, Gucci from head to toe…even his toe nails were imported from Vietnam (so no need for the Vietnamese ladies to give him manicure or pedicure). My dear look past today… the more they tell you that, the more you should love your man…take him around and show him off to these same friends… Your today does not necessarily determine your tomorrow… I remember one church I ministered at and they had a guest pastor, who had the gift of prophesy. I remember the minister called out a girl from the crowd…I had noticed her (yes my eyes are WIDE open when I walk into church…you never can tell where you will find “her”)…beautiful babe…though I remember the hair she carried on her head wasn’t hers (that’s a story for another day!)…anyway the man told her that she has been diligent for a number of years now, dating the same guy, who her friends had put down, that he won’t amount to nothing …but that because of her steadfastness and prayers for the dude, God asked him to tell her that she should hold on cause the guy was going to be wealthy beyond her imaginations… I could tell what this MOG (Man Of God) was saying was true because as he started telling the story the girl broke down crying…I was full of joy for the girl…finally I had witnessed the story of a virtuous woman whom God had chosen to reward. Hopefully, when the guy makes it, he’ll not feel it’s as a result of his doing but realize it’s as a result of the woman he’s had in his corner.

Family relations: People find it funny when I say that, I don’t care how much I love a babe but if our families don’t get along, I am not marrying... Growing up amongst Nigerians and myself being a product of a polygamous home, I have witnessed how family squabbles can lead to ones destruction. Having said that, I have also witnessed and learnt from people that have succeeded how to ensure such squabbles are minimal or don’t exist. Ladies, when you know you are in love with your man and you know within your heart and your brain, that he is the one for you (not when you are considering Sam, Pam and Ugo)… here is the key to winning the battle even before it begins and also the key to winning your his love. Once you meet his family, try to warm up to them… if you live in the same city or nearby, make it a point to visit without your man necessarily knowing about it…if dudes mum is around, take her out…do those things ladies like to do when ladies do the things they like to do when ladies are doing the things they like to do together ( ha ha ha ha ha )…spend time with the family and let them get to know you on a personal level…understand the reason why you are doing this…if the man you are with is successful, has the potential to be successful, is the love of all his family members, is the last kid or first son, all of the above or some of the above, you have to understand that the family will feel threatened if all of a sudden his emotions and source of happiness is no longer necessarily them but has become you…by hanging out with them and spending quality time with them, its appeases them, which invariably leads them to a point where you are no longer considered a threat but rather one of them… trust me a family that knows you well before the marriage because of the love you show them, will be your support in times of trouble. (Forget about hanging out with Moji this weekend… go spend time with his niece, nephew, mum, sister, brother e.t.c. ...Moji will be just fine!)

The way it used to be: The minute you decided to date this dude, you were saying to yourself and the world that this is a new beginning, a new day…old things have passed away …new things have been born. By choosing to date this dude, you are saying he is better than your ex (or else why did you stop dating your ex or why would you choose to regress rather than progress?). Men can’t stand being compared to other man…even if it’s a compliment, save it! A man wants to know that he is unique to you… he wants to feel like you’ve never met his type before…don’t go about comparing the things he does or doesn’t do for you to the things that your friends boyfriend does for her…they weren’t born on the same day, by the same person nor in the same hospital…so quit it! You lay your bed…NOW SLEEP! If you find it hard to sleep on the bed you’ve laid, kindly get another…there are many mattress stores around…sealy might be popular but it’s by no means the best… so clearly you have options.

Motivator: Other than the experiences of life, mans’ greatest motivator is his girl/wife.
A woman can bring out the best in a man or the worst…Pick one…you could choose to be Ruth or choose to be Eve. The greatest part of who I am today is attributed to God…but God worked through people to get me to where I am today… My mother and my ex were those two. Let me make this clear before I proceed; my ex and I are done! But like history, Columbus will always be remembered as the man who discovered America. Though he is dead and has been dead for decades, there’s a special day set aside to recognize his contribution… (nope! There’s no special day for the ex). Ladies a man can act stupid 9 out of 10 times and might forget important dates 9 out of 10 times but he never forgets those that saw him through his wilderness.

Supporters Club: Educate yourself about the things he likes…if he is a soccer fan, find out what club he supports (go ARSENALLLLLLL!!!)...you don’t have to support the same club he supports but the fact that you know about the sport or his interests and you’ve taken a liking to some level, is bound to floor him…now I expect the guy to do the same! Guys wake up ooooo …!!! The key to winning a man’s heart other than thru his belly (lol…egunje) is being an advocate of the things he adores…don’t show up at his place on Saturday when Arsenal is playing and ask him to accompany you to the mall at that particular time…trust me that’s recipe for disaster…if he enjoys synchronized swimming…lol…don’t switch channels to watch General Hospital…I realize how passionate you are about your soaps but trust me its never on the level of a mans passion for soccer… You’ve never heard anyone getting killed for missing General Hospital… but I am sure you’ve heard of people getting killed over soccer…Enough said!

Find yourself and he will find you: Enough said!

Personal time: Listen! I don’t care the lurvy durvy y’all think you have going…people need their space…don’t cramp his style… it leads him to feel u are insecure…or are you? Let him miss you a bit… trust me this builds a relationship …

Never Break up with a guy unless you mean it: I have noticed this nonsense of late… its become too rampant! The minute a woman opens her mouth to break up with a guy she’s opened a crack in their relationship…if a man cheats on you, break up with him … Yes he will come back and beg but trust me you are better off without him…cos one day he’ll feel insecure about that relationship and when he breaks up with you, he’ll BREAK UP WITH YOU!... be a woman that is firm in her beliefs…stand by your word…so before you utter those magic words, think…do I mean this?

FOOD! FOOD!! FOOD!!!: when I talk about food women laugh …they don’t know that there lies the secret of how to keep a man… a woman that can cook is not only appreciated by her man but also his friends… trust me don’t be deceived ..if his friends eat your food and they sincerely sing your praise (most times this happens, its amongst the boys)…. Once the boys confirm your cooking skills, some bulb lights up in the mans head… he’s got bragging rights… any man that tells you he doesn’t enjoy knowing that he has bragging rights is a LIAR…please pray for him!...Fathers brag about their kids that do extremely well… read the book of Job…God was proud of JOB…If you can’t cook, please please! Please!...learn …if I could learn how to cook, then I see no reason why you as a woman shouldn’t be open to learning…The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach…ahhhhh…its time to call my mum… I need some home cooking!

To the ladies out there that have read this…I pray that God gives you a man that would love you in a way no man has ever loved you before… I pray that He will shine His light on you… give you insights into your role and what His expectations are of you… You’ve been given enviable positions…He made you receptors….he gave you instincts that are way more precise than most men…I pray that as you walk through this life and until you meet the man whom He has ordained for you, that your flesh will be subdued …that your relationship will be a model on which many will come to know God. Remember He paid a price for you and I…its only fair we acknowledge that in the way we live and the things we choose to do… the pleasure of sex is for a moment ...ask yourself is it worth hurting the Lord just to please yourself? The God we serve is a just God; yes the bible says He is merciful but it also says He is a two-edged sword! ...most times men were destroyed in the bible (go and read it!), it was as a result of sexual perversion, fornication and adultery.
Father Lord I thank you for this time and I thank you for the life of this reader…Have your way in their lives…let your name be glorified in their relationship(s). Amen