C for scissors- contd.

Ok i just got home...havent had a chance to rest and i think its best i write this before resting cause its still fresh... Yup the wedding was HooooooTTT!!! i mean that literally... The wedding was hot, the brides dress was to die for...the heat in ATL was something else...man i felt like i'd been thrown into a furnace....I gathered from the bible that Hell is a gazzillion times worse than this...if thats the case...Papa God abeg ooo write my name for book of life cos i am more determined now than ever before to make it!.

Ok so i took some pictures but i still dey learn how to upload the pictures on Kodak...once my technological-lagging person gets up to speed on how to upload the pictures, i'll put up a link.

Thursday Night: I got into ATL at about 9 pm, got a ride to the venue of the pool party, still dressed in my office garb (you all see the things i do just to bring y'all gist... ok ok ok ..i also wanted to see babes in their hot bikinis and swim suits)...I got to meet a number of people i have been out of touch with(I discovered from at least 10 people that i had gained weight) but in all i wasn't too happy with the pool party (too many engaged or married babes) ...the single ones either had a guy with them or talking to them...anyway i didnt stay for too long. Thursday night was uneventful.

Friday: Visibly upset at the number of people that made comments about my weight yesterday, i decided to walk. Chei! the sun was scorching... i walked for close to two hours on the road...walked to my barbers place and back!...lets just say i have found new respect for women i see walking...GUYs! its not easy oooo!....kai! i mean my hips were screaming...all thoughts of making this a habit vanished...i mean Zapped!... Anyway it was nice seeing my barber again. Just being on her chair, i overheard alot and i must tell y'all ..if you think when men and women have issues in their relationship its ugly, try lesbians...(my barber is gay..shes the male in a lesbian relationship)...i mean the two of them were attacking themselves...from the gist i gathered my barber is a pimp with scrubbish tendencies...when she meets a new girl, she moves in and waits to see if she'll meet another with more money or greater potential..at which point she moves out of the first and heads over to the second...anyway the kind of yabbies they were dishing at each other and what they threatened to do left me Praising God for all the squabbles i had with my ex and the fact that it never deteriorated into anything like this (i mean i need to have a pastor lay hands on my ears!). Anyway, back to the wedding... i got to the rehearsals late! i can't go into details why cos that would require another blog. Just from taking part in the rehearsals, i knew the wedding was going to be a blast...the church was a site to behold...HUGE!...man i didnt know that the church where you have your wedding could cause such an effect..so dia for... i have passed a decree...my wedding is going to be held in a church comparable to that where Juanita Bynum got married.. i mean the church was nice... if i was dating and i had been considering proposing to my girl, i probably would have done it right there and then (one sign of a good wedding is if in the course of the weekend, you've been to or experienced things within the scope of the wedding you are attending that has caused you (as a man) to even consider proposing to your girl). I got hooked with a girl i'll call "Emo" (i'll explain shortly).

Bachelors party: Man naijas tooooo do! i mean Naijas tooooo do! i mean ah ah Naijas ttoooo do! the groomsmen decided to have a bachelors party on a yacht in Lake Lanier ... the yacht sailed out at approximately 10:30pm...The DJ was extraordinaire, man the guy played every hit you could think of from the 80's to date... he even played some naija songs that i was hearing for the first time...now the scene was great but the babes were lacking...YET AGAIN! most of the ladies that showed up were either engaged or married (they sha had rings on their fingers)..most of the single ones turned me off with the amount of drinking they partook in... i mean these girls held their own...i saw the guys getting drunk but these babes chei! (in lagos we call them OGBOLOGBO) weren't shaking at all...i gathered i have been out of the social scene for a while but this the norm!... I don't plan on having a bachelors party when its my turn to get married but it definitely has to be something special cos on a scale of 1-10 i give them a 9 for the yacht party.

Wedding day: so the night before i had shivers for two reasons that i had shared on a previous blog... One my voice was still shaky... i couldnt really practice and even the notes i managed to hit previously, i could only hum them. Secondly, the question of the Ex just kept bugging me...Well all the groomsmen came together in the morning to reminisce on the good times..at this point it became blatantly clear to me as they tore into me one after the other, that my singleness was a matter of huge concern for my friends... It got so bad tat they remembered a time (about 4 years ago) when i actually made a bet with the groom that i was going to be married before him....funniest thing is back then...they all agreed with me but if you see the way they turned on me...chei it was like "face off"!
We got to the church, took some pictures ( i truly believe the official wedding pictures will be a sight to behold...the photographer had us posing in ways that .... hmm..wait for the pictures and see for ya sefs) Anyway after taking pictures and all, the time finally came..man you should have seen the groom sweating...nope it wasnt the weather...cos the church was fully air-conditioned..it was a sight to behold... i mean this is a dude i have known for a very long time, who isnt known to be emotional but here he was sweating profusely. There was also the fear that dude might cry at the altar and man we brought enough powder so that if he tried it we could pimp slap him (pimps feel if they slap you with their bare hands, they'll mess up the texture of their hands and so they use powder). The songs i had prepared to minister were changed last minute!... these songs required a high pitch and so as the groom was sweating, i was sweating for the groom as well..cos the last thing i want to be remembered as is "the only sour point of the wedding". Welcome EMO... Emo is short for emotional... i mean don't get me wrong the brides dress was and is about the best i have seen in my life. As the bride was walking in, i was trying to mentally work on the songs i was going to minister..out of nowhere i heard..sob! sob!!..sigh!!!..thinking one of the girls had a cold, i ignored, seconds later it became louder..at this point i felt the need to turn around to see what exactly was going on...how about one of the brides maid was balling.."oh my ...her dress is so pretty...oh my my its so beautiful...girl! i saw the same dress ..other babes saw the same dress...please calm down i dont need all these girls crying... Finally the minute came for me to minister... I'll let those that were there determine within them if the spirit touched them but I thank God becuase as i picked up the Mic, my voice gradually returned to normal and OH! how i worshipped God...after a while the chap playing the organ must have wondered if i forgot where i was ... But i give God the glory! (the bride later told me i made her cry...naa my dear it was the Spirit and not me...i was just an instrument)...

Apart from one other wedding, i must say a great number of people attended the church service..unlike other times when peeps avoid the church service and show up at the reception even before people from the church service make it there...(Note to self: Priorty seating will be given to those who made the church service... plan to hand out some kinda ticket or something so that these people can be distinguished from the rest)... I'll say it again ...Rhynas gown was off the Hook... I am really into fashion but i have never been one to differentiate or distinguish between a good wedding dress and a bad one but i can authoritatively say that her wedding gown was the best i've seen through the years! Congrats Rhyna and BJ..thanks for a memorable wedding!

Reception: Now this is where the gist proper starts... From this wedding and the others i have attended, i could draw many conclusions but i'll draw one that i have found to be really common and relates to where i am headed...HOOK UP galore!
I mean to my left a guy was being hooked up with one babe..to my right a babe was being hooked up to one guy and in front of me, a guy and babe decided to meet up at the wedding for the first time...behind me, pastors were on guard!... One of the advantages of being gone for so long and being out of touch with people, is the fact that when you do re-appear, most times people are genuinely excited to see you... strangers looking from the outside perceive you to be either a very important person or someone really close to the family. I mean the number of hugs i got and introductions were out of this world...hold up!...could it be that people were introducing me out of pity? "yeah let me introduce you to the only bachelor left"... anyway i decided to spend most of my time there with friends i had known for a long time or with family... it got so bad that one of the pastors observing actually left her table, walked all the way to the dance floor and asked me to leave my sister alone and go talk to some other ladies... noticed a few looks but being the shy guy that i am i couldnt move on them and besides.... i made a decision that i won't jump at a babe just because she was pretty and gave me the green light... Anyway a girl actually walked up and got my phone number, which i willingly gave to her...( she was hot oooo and funny...)... got introduced to a few, one of which was a babe(lets call her IJE) i had been introduced to previously but i wasnt interested in..why? well the night i met her she had everything hanging out and it didnt settle well with my spirit so i decided i didnt want to have anything to do with her...but my people...seeing her tonight, she was nothing but breath-taking... the funny thing is i didnt think she'd talk to me cause initially when they tried hooking us up, i had hooked her up with a friend of mine..(yup i know thats a harsh thing to do but i'd rather not waste her time and definitely not mine!). So our second meeting was actually refreshing...she had everything covered and she still looked great...problem now is...we spoke and i dont think she can handle me...added to the fact my sister feels she calculating and has a wild look..( lets just say all the while as i was dancing with my sister, i didnt know she was behind me staring and my sister caught her a number of times...funny thing is my sister goes" dude i think she wants to dance with you cos shes danced all the way from the other end of the dance floor and shes right behind you as we speak)... I'll let you guys in on the conclusion later...

Back in the Hole: So i finally made it back to my location. I am already dreading the coming work week ...so i got out of the airport and into a cab and got to speak with the IJE... yup this is definitely not going anywhere... we spoke for a good hour and its clear i should have stuck to my initial assessment of her... well i doubt we'll be talking for a while to come...lol.... as per the lady that got my number...i'll touch on her a bit..shes pretty, funny and witty...though she seems to have a rebellious spirit (trust me you discern these things)...The great thing is she has my number and i dont have hers so if she calls then we'll see how it goes but if she doesnt ...i doubt i'll miss anything...

The true Essence of a woman: People ask why i am so picky... This weekend gave me another reason.
While in ATL i spent time at my friends place...He got married about 10 months ago.. His wife is 34 weeks (i got to learn that the pros don't count it in months but rather weeks) pregnant. She heard i was coming into town, knowing my favorite dish, she prepared my favorite dish even though her hubby enjoys eating something different. So each evening she had to basically prepare two completely different meals...she refused my offer to help and went about ensuring that i was comfortable during my stay. I truly believe one way you can tell if your babe is a true wife material, is to check out how she deals with your friends...I mean this babe spoilt me to the point that i thought i was the one marrying her... so one valuable lesson i learnt on this trip and it goes both ways...when you marry a guy/lady realize that you marry that persons close friend as well ....if your wife loves her friend dearly, show that friend that you equally respect her ..it goes to show you value your wives assessment of people and friendship. She truly showed me what it means when people say "Mi casa esu casa"...

In all i had a great time in Atlanta...the women remain beautiful, though i still worry if they are grounded and broken enough to be considered ready for marriage.

I bet you all are wondering if the Ex made it to the wedding...NOOOOOOOOOOOO she didnt...lol
Guess who just called? yup! the girl that got my number...lol.......I'll keep y'all posted....