Hey Dad!

“Miguel you have some issues to resolve… you have to start off by forgiving yourself and then your dad”… As these words keep playing in my head and I try to fight the truth, I came into this new day realizing I can’t fight it no more.

I didn’t really know you… I remember seeing you probably 6 times in my life before you were assassinated… I remember our last meeting ended in a fight… you never had the chance to forgive me; I never had the chance to tell you the way I felt… now you are gone… its been over ten years and yet its sad but I truly can’t say I have forgiven you nor forgiven myself for saying, doing and thinking the things I did.

I read the news from time to time and I hear of others being assassinated and immediately I remember you. It’s funny how people say great things about you, I hear my siblings and cousins tell stories about you and I can’t relate. It’s painful the number of times I introduce myself to people and they ask are you mr._______’s son?

It’s sad how I have allowed this event steal joyous moments of my life that most people cherish… I refused to walk on both graduation days because I felt it would’ve been too emotional for me. I will get married some day and wow! To think you wouldn’t be there to give me those fatherly words or even praise my choice of a wife. To think I’ll have kids and not be able to share with them stories of you or any sort of tradition passed on.

I love you though I never knew you. I miss you, though I never had you…how crazy is that?
Today I read about those that assassinated you walking around the face of the earth with their heads held up and because of my faith, I can only pray for them… Can you imagine the pain I feel? I remember the night it happened, I was walking into a hall with a friend… I felt something strange …I stopped abruptly and for some strange reason, I knew something terrible had happened. My friend tried to reassure me that I was wrong but we wouldn’t have to wait too long...lo’ and behold, morning came and the news broke.

Today, I make a change… I don’t believe dead people read but I believe if I confess it with my mouth, then I am free…

Dad I miss you
I miss the team we could have been together
I miss the things we could have done together
I miss the tips you would have given me on women
I miss the advice you would have given me about this cruel world
I miss the fact that I never got a chance to know you as a father or friend
I am sad I missed the stories I hear that crack me up
I hear you were funny but yet strict
I hear you were adventurous
Women tell me you were charming
My mothers tell me you were caring
I hear you were a giver
Men tell me what a good family I come from
Because you never took the home you were born into for granted
Forgive me because despite the great stories and reasons why you were never around
I refused to look at you in any other way but as my enemy
Forgive me for the things I did and said the last time we saw
I was just a kid back then
Like mummy said I was just as stubborn as you
Today I am full of praise that I had a father like you
I hold my head up high as I climb the status ladder of this world
Rather than aiming to be great to prove a point to you
I am going to be great to prove a point to the world
Though they thought we were done
The best is yet to come
On the final day, when this world comes under judgment
I look forward to seeing you… our hug is long over due

Adieu Daddy.