Why it's easy to walk away

Hello worlddddddddddddddddd! (I need to come up with a different way of greeting folks)... Hope you all are having fun and enjoying the season; As we shop and chop, let us keep in mind the reason for the season.

Anyway I have been good...Preparing for Christmas... Still haven't bought Christmas gifts yet cause I am still pondering on whether to be cheap and look for a reason to defend why I wont be giving out gifts this year (Probably tell my mum "the significance of Christmas isn't the exchanging of gifts but rather the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ)...hmmm...I trust she'll have a bible passage that says otherwise...Oh well I guess after posting this I'll swing by the stores to indulge myself ..lol...

I'll attempt to keep today's post as short as possible, giving others a chance to contribute... The title of this post has been adjusted to convey what I feel is the true state of affairs. Temmytayo had requested I write about why it's easy for men to walk away.

I truly don' think its a gender issue but rather an issue that arises based on different circumstances and situations people find within a relationship. As usual, let me start by saying that I am no authority in this subject-matter but only stating an opinion based on what I have experienced.

There are various reasons why its easy for people to walk away from relationships. I'll start with the most obvious and then go from there (for all I know, some people might be familiar with all).

Selfish : I truly believe from the onset of every relationship, the parties involved have an idea of their true intentions. The problem is most times both parties don't take the time out to assess if they want the same thing!!! There is a part A and part B to this section. The part A happens to be guys who clearly know when they meet a lady that their interests lie strictly in the physical assets the lady possesses. Their aim from the point when they initiate contact with the lady is to ensure they gain access to those assets and do with them as they please till they find another... My people call this Chop! Clean mouth! Or Open and Close!
(once she opens, case is closed!!). This act leaves the woman emotionally distressed (though I must say these days you meet quite a number of women who have turned sex into a hobby and they take their hobbies serious!..lol)... Part B of this deals with the ladies...Some ladies after a certain age (cough! cough!! Oops here comes another COUGH!!!) are so desperate to settle down that the tiny issue of love is relegated in search of comfort and spoils. These ladies walk into relationships or condition guys in the hope that their temporal show, will lead to a full-time gig (marriage)...When these ladies discover that the guy is just as smart in their game as they are, they walk away...If the guy fell in love during the process, he lives to bare the scar. Most times it takes but a minute for these ladies to be seen with another potential... They date without restriction or conviction!


Nothing invested Nothing Gained: It's always easy to walk away from a relationships you've invested nothing in. It's tough to walk away from a relationship where you've given your all, invested your time and energy on.

Issues beyond our control: Issues like religion (in my case at least), come into mind when I think about this group. I simply wont marry an unbeliever regardless of how I feel and I must say I will find it extremely easy to walk away. In life we all have priorities and depending on how you've placed yours in the ladder of wisdom, could affect how you feel walking away from a relationship... My ladder of wisdom looks something like this

God

Spouse

Family

Work/Career

Ministry

So as you can see if I find myself in a relationship where my partner decides to become an atheist, I will find it really easy walking away.

Multiple-Personality : This happens quite often...You meet a person and you think of them in one light only to find that like the disco bulb, they come in many lights. This is enough reason for me to walk especially if I find that my bulb isn't compatible with the many lights. I realize a number of people will argue that you never truly know your partner even after you've been married for years....I agree but I bet you have a good hold of what it is they are capable of doing and clearly what they are incapable of doing.

Macho-ism: You find this particularly in guys. Sometimes when a guy walks away, trust me he is hurting and hurting bad...For the sake of "pride" dude would rather bare the pain than be seen to be "soft". So though he might say those harsh words, act heartless, some guys do hurt and walking away is the best or only way they know how to deal with things....Its the easy way!


Psychological: You find this trend especially in people who have experienced neglect by either their father, mother or guardian while growing up... Kids from broken homes also find it easy to walk away from relationships because their upbringing has conditioned them that way. A child that sees or learns that one parent walked away from the other if not brought up properly with and in love, could subconsciously display such at adulthood.

Most of the points I have mentioned above are avoidable. I'll touch on the one that I feel will help majority of my readers.

No sex! No entanglement!!: It is easy to walk away from a relationship when there are no entanglements. Try putting off sex from your relationship especially when you initially meet a guy or lady (I know it might be tough...lol...)...See how long they last and if they remain the same through the period...Especially if you are hard on your stance of NO sex! Sex involves a lot of emotions ... Without sex in a relationship, it's easy for people to walk away with little or no hurt and even if hurt exists after the break-up, it takes a shorter period of time to overcome. A guy who is with you for sex will simply walk away or seek sex elsewhere in the hope that continually pressuring you will lead you to give in... A woman would do the same thing!


Reminds me of a saying I think I first heard from a very close friend of mine when I was going through something similar... "Like a bird, let her go..If she was yours, she'll come back but if she doesn't , she never was" the problem I have when I hear people say this to others is, no one talks about how to deal with the pain and disappointment...So being the fellow that I am ...I decided to come up with a great finish...clearing my throat...Cough cough cough... Do re mi fa so la ti do... Ok here goes (feel free to change as your heart pleases)

Like a bird let her GO,
If she was yours, she'll come back
but if she doesn't, she never was
Thank goodness, I wont have to run on her menstrual cycle!

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha h ah aha ah aha... (hmm that was rather dry...)

So now that I am done blabbing, in your opinion why do you think people find it easy to walk away from relationships and what can people do to counter that or deal with that?

Anyway if I fail to blog before Christmas, here is a Merry Christmas to everyone ... just in case I don't blog before the New Year...Happy New yearrrrrrrrrrrrr.

By the way ...lest I forget .. I have tried posting comments on peoples blogs and for some strange reason I cant seem to log on to have my comment posted...wharrris going on? wharra hell?