Case of the EX!!

Guys I am tired of apologizing for my absence ...lol...After a while I bet my "sorry" won't have much worth if I continue to abuse it... Well to bring you up to speed, I just finished my exams...One in particular was an all nighter (take home) and I guess I'll say I have been emotionally unbalanced of late so when you add all that together, you'll have to agree with me posting a new blog hasn't been a priority.

I trust no one on here cares about how my exams went but would rather savor the emotional gist...Being the "John Kerry" that I am, I'll cater to the majority. So here goes ... Of late I have been going through quite a bit..While I don't plan to post everything (ok I will if someone offers to fry me some soft plantain), I'll touch on different aspects. Anyway I decided to dedicate this post to my ex... My visit to Atlanta has given us reasons to re-connect....Well for at least one day...We've decided to sit down and talk...I bet some of you are going.."Okayyyyyyyyyy?" well our situation has a twist... We've been apart for about five years (wow! How time flies) but for some strange reason, things haven't been resolved between us. Every year other than the first year after our break up, we get to speak on about four occasions (mostly our birthdays and holidays)...The only problem is the talk always seems to come back to "we were good together why did we break up?" ... Each year we determine its best we don't speak (we feel it's disrespectful to the guy she's currently dating if we continue to have such conversations) but I must say each time she calls back on a different occasion, I am always open to talking...So since this year will be ending in about 21 days, we agreed it's time we sit down and talk... So my people I'll be heading off to see the Ex. This blog is dedicated to the good exes ... Those that positively impact your life, have played vital roles in your life and God has used them as vessels in making you the person you are today. Having come out of a number of situations, met the best and the worst life has to offer,I must say without shame nor reservation, I truly cherish the relationship I had with this ex in question.

Some people come into your life filled with selfish intentions and expecting to fulfill that which pertains to their ego rather than truly play a significant part in your life. I have seen many who come into a relationship wanting the title but fail to understand that a title comes with a role and unless you fulfill the role for which your title is associated, you've failed! (Guys want that trophy woman, beautiful, yet they fail to work hard in order to keep her looking pretty and they complain when she looks elsewhere...What do you expect? Remember she's a trophy babe, she's got nothing going for her but her beauty)...Women on the other hand want to immediately be known as his girl but fail to realize that in order for a man to see you as a potential wife, you have to add value to his life... What's the point of being with you if you only add to the mess he currently has going on...Tyler Perry said it best when he said"I can do bad all by myself".

I have decided to write about my Ex because for some strange reason, I feel this might be the last time we speak...My Ex showed me love that would leave men envious... I mean even without a wedding ring, she was my support...When folks thought I wasn't worth the slip on their flip flops, she felt I was the rubber used in making the flip flop without which there would be no flip flop. Some ladies feel I haven't dated because of my Ex ...I'll give them little credit for that observation but I'll say the greater problem is the fact that quite a number of ladies I have met aren't willing to make the necessary sacrifice..Those that seem to try seem to have an escape clause others are just plain bold and untrue. I mean the minute you proclaim your feelings for a person, its unjust and damn right low to continue running your eyes, it not only shows a total lack of respect but also connotes a deeper problem ..You are nothing but a CHEAT! ..."Love is a declaration...Not of words but of actions that speak volumes"- Spicy Miguel 2006 (all rights reserved)

I was nothing when I met my ex...Struggling to make ends meet...Her siblings and cousins felt she needed to look elsewhere...She deserved to be with a chap that could spoil her silly (she had many of such toasters)... But she knew my worth, understood my values, appreciated my struggle, realized my goals, celebrated my little successes and was frustrated with my failures....Still she persevered. She has my respect to date because she was true...true to her feelings, never fledging but ensuring that we had a very open relationship...Our feelings for each other weren't based on how we both felt but rather on a conviction that each of us were true to how we felt... Meaning the way either of us felt wasn't based upon reciprocation or in other words how the other person felt...

I realize that some people will say it's totally unfair to compare my ex with the ladies I meet ... I truly can't argue with this...I truly believe people should have their own opinions and whatever convictions they have has led them to the person they are today but I do have a question ... When you meet a guy/girl how do you assess if it's worth dating them? Some ladies compare the men in their lives to their father, the men compare the women to their mothers...So why is it so wrong of me to compare women to a point in my life that I can clearly say was "true"?

What could have been is not a function of the past but rather of the present, offering us an interpretation of the past and the future we want.

I'll keep you all posted when I get back and I'll also blog about an interesting topic Temmytayo brought up...Why it's so easy for men to move on?.

As usual I'll end this piece the way I end other posts I have written about love
Love like you've never loved before...Yes! You might get hurt...Yes! Even after they've hurt you, they might lie on you to cover their flaws...Yes! They might make it hard to trust again but believe that love is a healer and give that person all your heart...Trusting that when and if it ever ends, your conscience will be clear and deep down your heart, without reservation you know you gave it your best!