Watching From Afar!!!

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two. - Captain Corelli's Mandolin

I felt the above quote would be most appropriate for this post. How are you all doing? I am in some serious pain...I took a road trip to Indiana for a game of paintball with my friends and as I settle in to type this post, I am really sore... does anyone have ROB? No one?
Oh well on to the gist at hand…this past week was really interesting for me...I have found new respect for women. As I post this gist, I am still baffled and shocked at the turn of events... let's just say the best way to describe my state is one of shock and confusion. I am hoping at the end of this post, folks won’t only enjoy the gist but learn from it and proffer help.

Sometime in May, I had a conversation with one of my pastors in church who also happens to be my mentor. We tend to meet up every now and then to catch up on the going-ons in my life, spiritually, educationally, career wise, socially and emotionally. During this particular meeting, we spoke of my "state of singleness" and the need to address it. During our conversation, he asked if I was open to dating women of other colors and nationality and I told him I really was determined to marry a naija babe. Anyway he advised that I keep my mind open and not box myself because the best woman for me might not be Nigerian and by boxing myself, I could be delaying my blessing.In May, this conversation was just that a conversation because I got up from there determined more than ever to marry a Nigerian. Well five months later, I am still determined to marry a Nigerian but I can't ignore an encounter this past week.

The story starts a few weeks back though I must say I only understood my role this week.Anyway a few weeks ago, I attended a meeting and after the meeting, I walked past this babe...lets call her Suelene (I just like the name). I noticed she gave me a funny look but like me I took notice but thought nothing of it...a few days after that, I walked into another meeting and lo and behold, who was there? Yup...if your answer was Martha, you are WRONG but if you said Suelene, you can give yourself a pat on the back! So after this meeting she walked up to where I was sitting and introduced herself..."Hi my name is Suelene, I have seen you around campus but we've never spoken"...hey Suelene, my name is Miguel and I must say other than a few days ago, this will be the second time I've seen you on campus (We both belong to different sections and our sections haven't really had a chance to mingle)Anyway we have our little chat, filled with "nothing" and she leaves; I get to meet some other folks...apparently while I wasn’t paying attention, the person leading the meeting had asked people to go around and meet someone new".

Two weeks ago, there’s another event away from campus and I rolled up there... after hanging there with my mates for a few minutes, this babe walks in with her friends...as they walk past us, a wink, a smile and a nod were exchanged. Immediately they were out of sight, trusting guys to quickly assess and deliver their assessments even when it isn't sought after, one of the guys in my group goes "dude isn't she hot? Sad thing is I hear she might be gay"... the second dude goes…"makes sense cause a buddy of mine has tried several times to go out on a date with her and she's turned him down and apparently a couple of other guys as well". I have to make mention of this at this juncture...for the life of me, I never knew the things white guys appreciate in women (physically) differ from the things black guys appreciate in women! Anyway after getting this revelation, I decided it was time to leave.

Fast forward to this week-

Well this week I get an email from a strange name, requesting to meet up with me to discuss career options and my summer internship. I typed the name in the student directory to see who the student was and to my surprise, it was Suelene. Anyway I arranged to meet Suelene the following day.

Next day comes and I meet Suelene...as we chat about my summer experience, she starts to giggle...Ok at this point I am wondering to myself…"What in the world is funny about working through a weekend?" ... so I asked if everything was okay and she answered yes. Anyway I turned the table around and asked about her experience...while sharing she spoke about the fact that she couldn't get a gig (job) in a certain state which she really wanted and so ended up in a different state and despite the fact the company was nice, she was missing something. From there our conversation spread into our class mate... a number of which had either come back from the summer pregnant, engaged, new babies or in the case of one strange guy, married (without inviting his mates...shame on you dude!). Anyway she expressed shock as to the tide of things and i agreed cos man one babe came back "knocked up" and the babes eating habit in class has been rather annoying... I mean this babe eats. All of a sudden she drops the words..." I hear you are not open to inter-racial relationships that you are determined to marry not even a black person but a Nigerian...what is this fascination with Nigerian girls?" ... shocked I asked her "who told you that?" (I only shared that with one babe in my school and hearing it from a babe I never knew existed until a few weeks back, was jaw-dropping)…anyway I confirmed what she had heard and briefly explained my reasons. I noticed after that comment that conversation wasn't fluid anymore so I begged to take my leave.

Next day, one of my boys (who was at the event off-campus) saw me and was like" Suelene came by class to look for you (Yes! people I cut class...man prepping for interviews is a class on its own!)... Thinking nothing of it, I continued with my daily business... that evening I got a call on my cell phone from a strange area-code...It was Suelene..."Hey Miguel are you in your building?"..."yup" ..."do you have a few minutes to spare? “Sure”. I’ll meet you downstairs".Anyway I head downstairs and a few minutes later Suelene joins me... she apologized for the other day…which for me was confusing..."oh why are you apologizing?"...
Suelene: “I sometimes allow my emotions get the best of me"
Miguel (in an attempt to make her feel better) "don't we all"
(My people! with those words na so I take open door to drama)
Suelene: Do you really think so?
Miguel: (confused at this point)...Yeah! (Trying to sound philosophical and intellectual) every action we take is laden has some emotional undertone. The struggle is striking the right balance to ensure we are conveying the right message at the right time and in the right frame.
Suelene: It's interesting you say that because my room-mate totally agrees. Our emotions have a time frame within which we are afforded a chance to act or react in order to make or alter a situation.
(My people! at this point even the English wey dey my head jus jam!)

Anyway Suelene goes on to tell me when she first saw me on campus...how one of our mutual black friends had told her I don't date outside my race and as such it delayed her telling me what she was about to tell me... to cut this long gist short jare...the babe asked if I’ll be open to an inter-racial relationship on any grounds...again I told my dear Suelene that I was only interested in dating Nigerians as more than likely the next relationship I get into could be lead to the altar. Well from nowhere, I got a verbal uppercut .." its sad how the world speaks of compassion, tolerance and integration, when the people that are being trained as leaders of tomorrow still hold on to myopic views that perpetuate intolerance and segregation".
(I have received yabs in my lifetime but nothing like this!).
Anyway I told her that in the search of compassion and tolerance a person does not necessarily have to negate their desire(s).

How about the next day "American Gbeborun" (the girl I confided in) sends me a message on Skype asking where I was in the school building... lets call her AG. Anyway I meet up with AG and as I hammer her on why she felt the need to run her mouth, the babe tells me that apparently for some time now Suelene has had a thing for me but she tried to dissuade her especially with the attention other guys were willing to give her; anyway she just felt the need (As per Gbeborun) to meet up with me and tell me that the babe is shy but that she really likes me and that I should think about it before making a decision.

I just discovered that Suelene is in one of the groups i signed up to work with this fall. We have 5 weeks to go this quarter and this group plans to meet twice a week. BUMMER!!!
What do would you do?
1. It's a voluntary group, so I could ask to be excluded (she'll think its because of her....hmmm)
2. Ignore her and act like nothing happened and nothing was said?
3. Confront her and lay it out straight that nothing can transpire between the two of you? (keeping in mind she didn’t directly ask)
4. If a babe has been that patient and focused on you, despite the fact you never noticed her, start a friendship and see where things develop from there (but there are certain fears with this option, like "Why encourage something you know you are not open to)Let me know your thoughts!

In other news, The League of Extraordinary Single Men (will blog about them someday) will be storming my abode next week. This is the first time in years that we'll all be together in the same place at one time after many years. Activities that we indulge in include but are not limited to
a) Yab each other as per our singleness
b) Yab each other as per our singleness
c) Compare notes (I like this part... for some strange reason this leads to greater bonding)
d) Propose drafting a letter to INS...gist of letter will be reduce inflow of Nigerian men, increase inflow of Nigerian babes and increase outflow (through whatever means) of Nigerian men already in the country.

In a few weeks I'll experience my last fall ball in this school and like the first; it could be a solo expedition AGAIN!!! Thanks to Three 6 Mafia I can verbally sum up the way I feel when I say IT'S HARD OUT THERE FOR A PIMP!

Note: Too tired to go through and make the necessary changes to spelling or grammatical error. If you find a few please bare with me...My Garri is rising out of control and it's my last bowl!!!