A letter to the one I lost

I wish I could go back to the first day we spoke
I wish I could have given you a clean slate
Not one filled with the hurts of my past, the cares of today or the fear of tomorrow
I wish I could have taken down the walls that surround my heart
Let you into my world and made it our world.
I wish I appreciated your concerns
I wish I realized your words were true and cherished your time just a little more

But you see I couldn't
I was scared
I was falling for a girl I knew little about
I was letting you into an area that had been shut for some time
Each time you almost made it up my wall, I had more bricks placed
Each time I found myself trusting you, I created doubts to put you in check

As time has gone by,
I find myself sitting around and asking "What if?"
What if I had allowed you in
What if I had thrown all my concerns away
What if I had given you a fair chance
What if I had trusted you
What if I had tried
What if?

But I am glad you are happy
I am glad you are where you are
Glad because I won't have it any other way
If in that place you find happiness, then I am all for it
If in that place you find security and comfort, then I am all for it
If in that place you find a man that I couldn't be, then I am all for it

But I am not ashame to admit
I lost a good one.


At times in life we rush to make decisions. Some of them are appropriate and required but then there are others that aren't. At times we allow the hurts of our past and our insecurities, disrupt what could potentially be good for us...all in the name of fear. God has not given us a heart of fear...At times, it's worth taking the risk...for with great risk, come great rewards.