The case of a missing subject! naaa object!! Whatever!

I'll be frank it's been tough getting myself to blog again...The news knocked the breath out of me ... Within the past week I've spoken to quite a number of friends and no one seems to have recovered from the shock...Rogba's funeral was yesterday... "It's well", "it's well" that's what I keep saying to myself and others...It's well.

So yesterday I decided to indulge myself....got my favorite meal (Rice & plantain), decided to add Ewa Agoyin (Beans) into the mix, got me a few bottles of my favorite Nantucket Big Cranberry (you could buy me with a few bottles) and also a bar of Snickers...The plan was to stuff myself... It was either that or sit around crying (yeah yeah yeah men are not suppose to cry...tell that to the birds... I cry!)... Anyway I got everything needed and after demolishing the rice and plantain, I decided to assault the ewa agoyin and that is where the drama started....I must say the person that discovered ewa agoyin is twisted...Why do I say that? how can you make such a tempting dish that on one hand is about the sweetest beans you could ever have and on the other hand it drives your bowel insane (man the pepper in that thing should be outlawed!!!)? After a few forks of the beans, I found myself in a secluded room...just myself, the white throne and my screams (you get the picture...lol)...By the way it's a terrible idea to eat a peppery substance and try calming the sting with cranberry....ahhhhh what was I thinking? was I thinking in the first place? kai!

I got back into my room and decided to eat my bar of snicker in the hope that it would help take my mind off my demonstrating bowel...as I cheerfully looked into the bag to pull out my chocolate, I discovered it was missing....now this is where drama two started... I practically ransacked everywhere in the room...re-traced my steps....walked out in heavy rain trying to see if the bar had mistakenly dropped while I walked home...lol....yeah I can hear some say "this dude is crazy" naaa people I am not crazy....When I crave something, I'd go to the farthest parts of the earth to find it. Anyway I walked back into the house, spent a few more minutes searching my room and I still could not find my bar of snickers...which led me to three (in my books only two are valid) conclusions
Conclusion 1: It's either my room mate stole it!!! Yessssss I am accusing the brethren.... Why? cause I feel like it!...though I must say when I was walking out of the house, he had this look on his face like "yeah I stole your bar of snickers" or could it be that is just the way he looks?....oh well I'll put my investigative skills into use...check the trash bag in his room, toilet and kitchen... Man I should actually join the cast of CSI...I am a natural!
Conclusion 2: Nothing against my Indian folks but I bought the bar from an Indian shop and knowing how serious those guys take the matter of profitability, I suspect they have a repossessing machine for items bought in their store. So you walk in there and like myself, you buy a bar of snickers, if you do not immediately open the wrap once you leave the store, they automatically program the repossessor (it's a valid word...check onibonje dictionary Volume 6) and voila! your candy returns to their shelves. Anyway I can't prove this second theory but I plan to walk into their store tomorrow...I'll take a bar of snickers and walk out without paying...if it makes a sound or they call me back to pay for it, then my theory holds but if I am able to successfully walk out of there without them knowing, then I guess all is fair! I need to put my attorney on speed dial just in case...I can't seek advice from him about the matter cause once I tell him what I plan to do, by law he is required to inform the authorities...What happened to lawyers and liars go together, like bread and peanut butter?

I thought of reporting my bar of snickers missing to the police...but those cops never take anything but murder serious...I mean as a tax paying resident of this city, I have the right to report any and every crime to the police....My missing snicker definitely falls under that! Yup you get the picture...
Officer: what color is the missing victim
Me: Brown
Officer: Eye Color
Me: REDDDDDDDDDD!!!!
Finally conclusion 3: Okay a few people could argue that it must have fallen out of my pocket (oops I forgot to mention I placed it in my Pj pockets)....Yup...I walked to the store in my Pj's...trust me when I crave something, my mode of dressing is the least of my worries. This conclusion is disturbing...Why? for many reasons...I trust the pocket of my PJ knowing how much I was craving a snicker bar wouldn't be so careless as to allow it drop out of my pocket without informing me...I just trust my pocket!!!

I doubt I've shared this with you guys but I am addictive by nature... I mean I get addicted to anything and everything I like...It's one of the reasons I never drank nor smoked...the fear that I could get addicted was too terrifying for me...seriously ask those that hang out with me...I tend to go to the same restaurant over and over again...I'll drink cranberry(no ice) till the day I die... once I find something I like, it's hard to curb my craving for it....I can eat rice morning, afternoon and night without complaining as long as it comes with soft plantain!...hmmm come to think of it...this could be a problem....hmmmmmmmmmmm....

Anyway I trust y'all are doing well.....just thought I should share what's been going on with me... Man I wonder how unemployed people do it...just sitting around doing nothing...I mean these past few weeks have been torture! I wake up and I keep myself extremely busy doing NOTHING!!!...I have become so restless that I dread the start of a new day...why? cause I'll be doing NOTHING!!!....I guess I should get involved in some type of community program...hmmmm..Neighborhood watch might not be a bad idea....catch folks that steal people's snicker bars........... Yup! decision made! neighborhood watch it is!

I am out!