What happened to trust?
I recently connected with a babe I knew in my teenage years. Facebook I must say has been a blessing and a curse...a blessing in the sense that I can connect with long lost friends and a curse because certain people you'd rather not associate with tend to locate you and ask to connect.
Anyway back to this babe...it's amazing how things have changed over the years... Our conversation has made it more difficult to trust women. Don't get me wrong I am not using her as a standard for women but of late, I've had reasons to question the motives of certain women in my life.
Well ol' girl has been kicking it on the side with her girl friend's dude...it's gotten so bad that she's contemplating moving in on her friend and breaking up her relationship in order to take her friend's place. The troubling part is, she has no issue still being friends with the girl while she plots her moves...Have things gotten this bad? Sad thing is I bet her girlfriend doesn't even have the slightest clue what this babe is up to...I bet she's been pouring out to this babe..thinking this is one of her most trusted friends...poor babe has no idea that this babe has ulterior motives.
Anyway she invited me to join social moth...a place where you can reveal amongst friends your deepest secrets without anyone tracing it back to you...funniest thing is though they post anonymously, it's kinda easy tracking who posted what because some say the most blatant things...anyway so I am reading the post and I discover that even a babe within the circle that is engaged is also cheating on her man...for goodness sake YOU ARE ENGAGED!!!
What happened to being able to trust the person you are with or a friend? what happened to loyalty? If you are unhappy with the one you are with, end things!!! If you can't be a true friend, don't be a friend at all!!!
This episode got me reflecting...It's funny how some people come into your life and expect you'd lay your guard down and trust them completely...One thing I've learnt through my experiences, is be wary of people that demand trust and when you have certain reservations about people, it's more than a hunch ...you need to pay real close attention.
People tell me I shouldn't let my past affect the way I associate with people...especially the opposite sex but when you hear stories like this, you can't help but pull up those walls. A friend said Miguel you've got to learn to trust. A relationship is dead before it's started if you can't trust the other party...Well tough! I've seen enough and now heard enough...you'll have to earn my trust. Period!!!
Yes ladies and gentlemen, My name is Miguel and I have trust issues!
What is your take on trust?
Anyway back to this babe...it's amazing how things have changed over the years... Our conversation has made it more difficult to trust women. Don't get me wrong I am not using her as a standard for women but of late, I've had reasons to question the motives of certain women in my life.
Well ol' girl has been kicking it on the side with her girl friend's dude...it's gotten so bad that she's contemplating moving in on her friend and breaking up her relationship in order to take her friend's place. The troubling part is, she has no issue still being friends with the girl while she plots her moves...Have things gotten this bad? Sad thing is I bet her girlfriend doesn't even have the slightest clue what this babe is up to...I bet she's been pouring out to this babe..thinking this is one of her most trusted friends...poor babe has no idea that this babe has ulterior motives.
Anyway she invited me to join social moth...a place where you can reveal amongst friends your deepest secrets without anyone tracing it back to you...funniest thing is though they post anonymously, it's kinda easy tracking who posted what because some say the most blatant things...anyway so I am reading the post and I discover that even a babe within the circle that is engaged is also cheating on her man...for goodness sake YOU ARE ENGAGED!!!
What happened to being able to trust the person you are with or a friend? what happened to loyalty? If you are unhappy with the one you are with, end things!!! If you can't be a true friend, don't be a friend at all!!!
This episode got me reflecting...It's funny how some people come into your life and expect you'd lay your guard down and trust them completely...One thing I've learnt through my experiences, is be wary of people that demand trust and when you have certain reservations about people, it's more than a hunch ...you need to pay real close attention.
People tell me I shouldn't let my past affect the way I associate with people...especially the opposite sex but when you hear stories like this, you can't help but pull up those walls. A friend said Miguel you've got to learn to trust. A relationship is dead before it's started if you can't trust the other party...Well tough! I've seen enough and now heard enough...you'll have to earn my trust. Period!!!
Yes ladies and gentlemen, My name is Miguel and I have trust issues!
What is your take on trust?
posted by Spicy @ 6:54 AM
7 Comments:
At 7:48 AM ,
ThatGirl said...
lol @ "My name is Miguel and I have trust issues!" yeah, i guess its harder to trust pple when u see and hear things like this. No one is perfect so the more reason not to trust certain peeps wholeheartedly. I think I have some trust issues too cos a few pple have told me I tend to keep too much to myself and i like it that way cos i've told pple stuff and heard them broadcast it rite in front of me all in the name of 'oops,it just came out', yeah rite. so i realised its best i keep stuff to myself if i dont want anyone else to hear about it. I'm not too sure what d bible says about trust, i should take that up!wait, did i just go off topic? anywho! hows everything?
At 5:39 PM ,
Jennifer A. said...
I don't blame you, anyone who has experienced and heard all these horrible things would become a high tower of defense and protection to himself. You sound like u've build a fort around urself...but one thing I know though is that the statement ur friend made, that a relationship is dead before it's started if you can't trust the other party, is very true. If you can't trust her, then I'll advise u not to go into the relationship at all (from experience)...because everyday u're just going to be doubting all sorts of things...
Only after u've defined ur "trust" should u go into a relationship (especially u Miggie...lol).
At 5:44 PM ,
Jennifer A. said...
...and that lady who u can dare to trust with ur whole heart is still out there miggie (forgot to say that)...
At 3:35 PM ,
Mimi said...
i read this post a few days ago, i was too tired to say all i wanted to say. lol. but now, it's all gone away and i cant even read the post again. anyway in summary...
if it is a matter of trust, the stories that girls too hear is enough to deter one from making a life-time commitment to anyone,
but,
how fair is it to not trust WOMEN as a whole, just because you've met a few bad ones?
if it's that way..then all women should not get married...
and how fair is it to judge someone you don't even know just because of your past experiences or worse still, other people's experiences?
it's life oh...we get hurt but it doesnt mean we should shut down :)
At 4:31 PM ,
Beautifully Human said...
whilst its only natural that you are more cautious , I dont think you should let the past (or other people's experiences) completely overwhelm you or make you bitter/ harden your heart. (generally speaking; I dont mean you in particular)
there's always going to be trust issues but its up to you how you chose to deal with them.
At 11:51 AM ,
KGs40sCruise said...
I don't think trust should be seen as an 'either or' issue. It should not be a matter of I trust you or I don't trust you - there are a lot of shades of grey in between.
As long as you can recognize this fact, then you should be ok. For example. You meet a woman/man/animal (it doesnt matter) for the first time. There should be zero trust given.
As time goes on you can begin to trust a block at a time. - Trust them enough to lend them $20 bucks, graduate to trust them enough to leave them in your house while you run to the store for 5 minutes, graduate to trusting them with the keys to your car ETC ETC.
If you just keep in mind that trust is earned and not given, you should be fine.
disclaimer - that you are beginning to trust someone does not mean a lack of suspicion, it means a healthy management of that suspicion.
-youknowwho!
At 10:53 AM ,
The Life of a Stranger called me said...
Gosh, really deep, so I guess I'm not paranoid then..lol.. It always boils down to trust. Just like you say, and if someone is giving you reasons not to trust them, then you shouldn't be blamed when you do decide to up and move on.
I amazed how people can go around doing what they do thinking they can either get away with or its ok.
And like Jaycee says that woman will come who is able to bridge that gap and break through the tower you have built and she will be a woman worthy of you indeed.
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